


Risks and Rewards

by Glitterfan



Category: The Checquy Files - Daniel O'Malley, The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: AU, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Other, Prequel, Revisionist History, Some PWP, before the pilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-10-01 17:58:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20358295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitterfan/pseuds/Glitterfan
Summary: When you find out you are going to lose everything, you might as well risk it all on the one thing (or person) you’ve always wanted.A “what if” revisionist history AU where the TV version of Myfanwy has more warnings, and more time to prepare for her memory loss. But while she struggles to come to terms with and prepare for what is going to happen (and all the damn people who kept reminding her) she finds one very good reason, or rather one person, worth fighting to stay for.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for Language, future sexual situation, angst, and really bad attempts at humor.

Looking back, they should have known everything was going to go to shit. They had been too happy and there had been signs. Among them a literal verbal warning, and then she had even told them exactly what was going to happen, but they couldn’t or wouldn’t believe it. Because despite being an organization that embraced, studied, recruited and dealt with the paranormal on a daily basis it was a known fact that psychics or the ability to tell the future was considered categorically “not a thing”. 

Also, they refused to live in a world where they would let this happen.

But they had.

And as they watched the low quality video on the jump drive for what felt like the hundredth time, all four of their stomachs dropped. Again. Now they understood why she kept those fucking birds. Because torturing oneself was a form of penance. 

She was on the phone. Arguing. They couldn’t quite read her lips on the low quality feed but it looked like she said“I can’t leave them”… though that might be wishful thinking.

Then someone in the shadows, they couldn’t see clearly who due to the cameras location, was coming up behind her. They seemed to put their hand on her neck.

Thats when she looked up, her eyes somehow instinctively finding the one camera that the Checquy had in the garage. It was just a moment, but they could read her lips as she said one single word.

“Gestalt”

Even thru the imperfect recording her eyes looked at them, full of sadness and goodbyes.

Myfanwy closed her eyes. The lights began to flicker on screen, and the camera buzzed and skipped and she would begin to shake in what looked like pain… they made themselves watch what happened in the flickering lights again, those painful few seconds (it felt like hours) until the recording made a popping sound and went black. They made themselves watch because they hadn’t been able to stop it. They couldn’t save her. And they should have.


	2. The Cookies Made Me Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Count Down Clock: 125 days to memory loss

Myfanwy Thomas was acting… strange. She was pacing outside their office like a nervous rabbit muttering something and typing franticly into her phone, folders under her arm, long shoulder length hair half falling out of a clip. The nervousness wasn’t strange, that was just Myfanwy through and through. She was always nervous on some level or other. It had gotten worse and then better over the years.

  
What was strange was that she wasn’t just coming in. She was, as far as Gestalt was concerned, the closest thing to a friend (or more? No, they wouldn’t admit to wanting that. It wasn’t… just no.) that they had. So why wasn’t she just coming into the office to either share work information or talk about dinner tonight? They had bi-weekly meetings as Rooks, but their Thursday sessions had somehow morphed into dinner (at the office, or at a restaurant, or more recently at Myfanwy's) almost a year ago.

“Not coming in?” Eliza walked up behind Myfanwy startling her enough that she dropped her phone and the folders clutched under her arm.

“Crap. Gestalt, Sorry I…Just… ugh” they both stooped to pick up the mess. Teddy almost stood to leave the office and help but held back continuing to finish the write-up for the field mission Alex was driving back from. Odd… they didn’t normally have that kind of impulse control. Eliza took a quick glance at the papers, but they didn’t seem to be notes for anything Checquy business they could think of.

“It’s fine” Eliza laughed smiling returning her gaze to Myfanwy, but her smile waveredshe when saw the dark shadows under her eyes. They stood together and she put a hand on her arm squeezing lightly as her other hand passed the remaining papers. “Myf”

“Whats wrong?” Teddy finished having left the office and walked out to stand behind them.

“Nothing” Myfanwy said quietly still looking at Eliza. “it’s fine. Just a rough couple of days. Really. Look, I have to cancel tonight. Something” her voice ran off as if distracted, but she shook herself “has come up”

Sitting in on the mandatory monthly meeting for field agents, Robert Gestalt began to bite their thumb nail.

“You never cancel” Eliza and Teddy said in unison, Eliza still holding Myfanwy's arm and Teddy moving closer behind them.

“Yeah well, there is just… something I have to do. I’ll sign all the papers and deal with the reports later. Pull an all nighter. No need for you to have to extra late because of me.”

They tilted their head to the left looking at her, scrutinizing her. They had all been trained at Glengrove how to read people. Right now Myfanwy's didn’t exactly say she was lying, but she was definitely hiding something.

“Did something happen?” Eliza continued. Teddy took the opportunity to try and glance at the papers again. Gestalt remembered seeing the word “predictive futures” and “memory triggers” on some of the pages.

“Nope” Myfanwy removed her arm from Elizas hand gently and made as if to back up, Teddy barely stepping back before she could run into them. She glanced back at him, though she had felt their presence the whole time.

Ok, now that was a lie.

“Ok, right, I will have Ingrid see about rescheduling us for a meeting tomorrow during the day. All right? Bye then” Myfanwy tried to walk by Eliza but they stepped in her way, Teddy mirroring them so that when Myfanwy turned around she want from soft willowy Eliza in a pink button down and grey suit jacket in front of her to the larger more looming form of Teddy in his black suit pants and black shirt. They crossed their arms in front of them.

“And what if I’m busy tomorrow?”

“Then I’ll finish the work on my own. I can manage. Missing one meeting won’t hurt anything? Just the fate of the nation and all right?” Myfanwy made a weak attempt at a joke than ducked past them. She hurried down the glass hall, even though it would mean she would have to go the long way round to her office. Gestalt watched her, noticing for the first time that she was rumpled. Was that the same navy skirt and blouse from the day before?

Granted, she had a LOT of similar outfits, but these were definitely the same ones from yesterday. And they were wrinkled as if she had slept in them. But that was impossible. They HAD seen her leave last night. Right?

They remembered her leaving. She had said something about driving home and trying a new restaurant near her building. But then a quick memory flashed before them, almost didn’t even notice it really.… Robert had left the building late the night before and as they had pulled out of the garage they thought they had seen a flash of a familiar someone with dark red hair rushing through one fo the back security doors.

Had Myfanwy come back to the office and slept there?

“What the hell” Eliza and Teddy muttered in unison. They should go after her. Check on her. Eliza actually took a step as if to go, but at the last minute Gestalt halted.

They didn’t follow her.

***

Later that night they were wrapping up things, feeling irrationally cranky. Even the normally cheerful Alex persona was on the testy side. Someone on their field team had the audacity to say when they thought they were out of earshot that they wondered if Teddy and Alex had switched places for the day. That was hilarious considering, on some levels, them switching places didn’t matter a lick.

All of Gestalt was preparing to return home when Eliza checked their email one last time. There was a message from Ingrid time stamped from an hour ago.

**Re:Thursday Meeting Reschedule**

**Rook Thomas would like to reschedule for noon tomorrow. It looks like any of you is open for the time slot so I have gone ahead and added it to your schedule. Please let me know if things will change or if other circumstances intervene.**

**Ingrid**

**PS-could you check on Rook Thomas before you leave? She insisted I go home for the night, but she didn’t seem to be going anywhere. I know you’re quite busy but I just thought I’d let you know. Thanks.**

Eliza raised their eyebrow. Ingrid was probably one of the only other people they might consider themselves friendly within this level of the Rookery. But her emails tended to be formal in regards to work related matters. Asking them to check on Rook Thomas was out of character. Had Ingrid noticed she had probably slept there last night as well?

Sleeping in the office wasn’t 100% unheard of, but normally it would be because of some sort of emergency or mad dash to finish a project or other. A budget fiasco, a huge sudden amount of paperwork due to 20 official Checquy vehicles being lost to a paranormal fog in Wales (true story) , etc. But Gestalt would have known about something like that.

Teddy and Eliza walked down the hall and split at the junction, Teddy pressed the button on the lift for the parking garage. The doors opened and as Teddy got on, Robert walked off and jogged to catch up to Eliza heading towards Myfanwy's office.

Gestalt didn’t bother to knock.

“Bit late to be here?” Eliza checked their watch. It was 11:30. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Myfanwy looked up half startled and slammed her laptop closed. Odd, they thought. It wasn’t her work one, it was her private one. Gestalt recognized it from the small blue rabbit sticker on the lid.

“I could say the same to you” Myfanwy muttered trying to look put out, but mostly just looking miserable and tired.

“Alex is already in bed.” Eliza supplied as an answer. Though that formerly sleeping body had now rolled over and was starring at the ceiling. Hell, Myfanwy really did unsettle their system lately.

“Did you drive here?” they asked in unison.

“Not today”

“What about yesterday” Robert began

“Since you slept here last night” Eliza finished.

Myfanwy opened her mouth and she looked about to stammer more, but then something flashed in her eyes, something that reminded them of the girl who had snuck out after curfew with them. They had longed to see more than just glimpses of that girl in the past few years. They had missed them and not realized how much until she started to truly hide herself in the background and under paperwork.  


“Keeping tabs on me? You know what, I don’t want to know. I had things to do,” she said calmly, trying to put on a placid mask “You don’t deal with this part of the paper work remember? And there has been a lot going on withthose issues in Belgium, something going on in Cornwall, not to mention all the details to go over for the Apostos situation. Who knew some stupid argument we had with the Americans almost 20 years ago could still be causing so much paperwork. I am massively behind.”

“You’re never behind on on paper work. And if you were so far behind then why did you cancel our meeting?” Eliza walked fully into her office, gracefully removed her suit jacket before sitting on one of the chairs. Robert stayed leaning in the door frame. “I could have helped” Eliza crossed her legs and moved all of her long blonde hair from the left shoulder to the right to replace their nervous thumbnail biting tick. The old habit had come back with a vengeance lately. Luckily Teddy was tucked away were no one could see them engaging in it. Eliza reached over for a file folder and Myfanwy grabbed it from them before they could get it.

“You are hate dealing with diplomacy related budgets and you know it. So don’t touch my spreadsheets Gestalt,” her words were meant to be teasing, but she was so tired they came out a bit biting. “It’s fine. Really” Myfanwy put the file on top of her lap top and made to pushed her hair out of her eyes and back into a ponytail. She began putting papers into her bag, but slipped her laptop and that file folder into a separate one. “I’ve got it under control. I have everything under control” she said it more to herself than to Gestalt.

“Do you need a ride home?” Robert asked trying to sound casual looking at their nails. _Do not bite your thumb Gestalt_ they instructed themselves, though Teddy was doing just that. Eliza stood smoothing their pants and walking over to the other side of the desk. It was a very Teddy move, to get up in Myfanwy’s personal space like that. But Gestalt felt right doing it in the Eliza body for once. There was only a few inches between them “I can give you a lift” Eliza said in a soft tone, smiling at her.

Myfanwy’s breath caught for a moment and she flushed at having Eliza so close. Lately she felt so out of sorts that she wanted to be reckless and just… give in… But then she shook her head as if to clear it. Reason prevailing.

“I can manage” she muttered and took a step back, turning to her deskand shoving another handful of folders into her bag. She was glaring at the folders and papers as if they had caused her some personal harm.

“It's no trouble” Gestalt said in two voices. Shit… they were doing that a lot with her today. Both bodies rolled their shoulders back. In fact, their other two bodies did the same, as if getting control of themselves.

“I have the car all ready. Let’s go” Eliza grabbed the brief case, not taking no for an answer.

“Fine.” Myfanwy said in a voice that said it was not fine. “Thank you Gestalt.”

“No worries” again in unison.

  


***

Myfanwy settled back in the black SUVs back seat next to Robert. Teddy driving, Eliza in the front seat. Robert was looking at her, and it felt strange. Like they were trying to find out all her secrets just by staring at her. She was bone weary. Part of her wanted to just lean over and rest her head on Roberts shoulder and go to sleep. That sounded marvelous. Best idea ever.

Instead she shifted uncomfortably and leaned against the cold door as Gestalt put on some music. It was something dull and classical. She couldn’t stop the snort of a laugh. That brought up memories.

“Ok, I know you don’t like that Gestalt.”

“I do to” Teddy insisted.

“No, I remember your last year Glengrove when we got drunk playing never have I ever, and at the end when it was just you and me, you admitted they decided each body needed a different favorite type of music as part of your differentiations or” she waved her hand in the air “future covers or something, and they kept insisting one part of you HAD to like classical music. All you wanted to listen to was top 40s and emo pop music. Stop pretending and just… change the station Gestalt.”

Sheepishly, with a small smile on Elizas face (she knew them! They felt an oddly warm sensation realizing that. Or maybe they were coming down with something?), they reached out a hand and changed the radio to a top 40 station (their secret shame). They had (almost not really) forgotten that night. Dares had been dared, secrets (but not all) shared, and truths mostly told.

“I really do hate classical music” Teddy admitted looked back at her in the rearview mirror.

“Well, them forcing you to send Teddy to the year 9 classical music appreciation class for 2 months right before graduation to 'brush up' on things probably didn’t help. Didn’t you get like 15 love notes from love struck younger students in the class? Until you put on your scary face? Broke all their little hearts and probably made take vows of celibacy,” she smiled meeting Teddys eyes for a moment in the mirror.

“How did you remember all of that?” Robert asked teasingly “you must have a special part of your brain dedicated to just remembering my embarrassing bits”

“I just have a really good memory” Myfanwy said looking at them, and then her smile wavered. She looked down at her hands. “You know, despite all the bad stuff mixed in there, I have some really good stuff actually worth remembering. Like that”. She went silent, and looked out the window. A voice was screaming in her head to say more. But she would sound like a crazy person. And if what had been said was true it could be because of… no… but maybe. No. Never. But, how well did she know them even after all these years? She trusted them. More than almost anyone. But just that fact…

Her breath hitched and she gripped the seatbelt feeling the color drain from her face. Not them. Please not them,

_lose yourself _

_lose your memories_

_to one you trust_

_you will be erased_

_Betrayed._

_Lost._

Two separate, random encounters telling her versions of that same nonsense prophecy. An old homeless man on the street going as far as to tell her she would be surrounded by the dead and a new person would open her eyes (before they started yelling at a pigeon to stop looking at them and had run away). And then a few days later a strange older blonde woman had come up to her, held her hand and said nearly the same thing but then added that she really ought to enjoy her time while she could and maybe go bang it out a few times. She then pet Myfanwy on the arm and told her to eat more fiber, but to really get on with the banging. Myfanwy had been too shocked to do anything but stand there as the woman had then walked off into the crowd.

No one can tell the future, they had been taught this over and over. It wasn’t done, it wasn’t a thing. In a world of marvels, the telling the future was NOT A THING.

But for one month she had been making plans. Just in case plans. Rainy day “going to lose my memories in a horrible painful fashion” plans. She had been doing research, sketching out scenarios, even (god she was a nutcase) stock piling cash in her panic room and building up a binder of details for well, herself? For a future someone that used to be her? She felt like an insane person and had begun to wonder if she didn’t need to see a new therapist (she hated them now after “the bird cunt” as Gestalt liked to call him, but they were mandatory if she wanted her meds and to keep being a Rook). 

But last night, it happened a third time. She had stopped for some quick take out and decided to have her fortune cookie before she left the restaurant. When she opened her cookie it had said, in plain black print “you will forget yourself”. It had sent her spiraling. Especially when she grabbed for a second in the “take a cookie” bin and upon ripping it open she found the exact same fortune inside. Without a word Myfanwy had dropped the cookie bits like they had bugs on them, left the food she had just paid for, and took a cab back to the Rookery.

She had fallen asleep at her desk sometime after 4 AM after a lot of research and impulse ordering 6 small recording devices. She had also arranged (through back channels with no connection to herself) two lock boxes at the bank and a set of colored key fobs. One red. One blue. She found the contact info for someone who could forge a new identity and-oh god what was she doing? She made a mental note to not do that at the office again. Luckily she had had her private laptop with her and had been able to use it instead of the main work. This frantic work had continued thru the next day in between actual work and she was pretty sure she had almost stapled her sleeve to an official document she was so distracted.

She needed to plan. She had no idea when this would happen (even if it would). Or what it meant. Could you just take a persons memories away? Who would do that to a person? Why? Why her? Who would betray her?

No one can predict the future. She was being ridiculous. How could one even plan for this sort of scenario? Start writing letters to themselves? “Dear you, you used to be me, ever so sorry for misplacing my memories, welcome to my life, it’s a bit shit, good luck”. She would need to buy new stationary. She added it to her mental checklist.

Gestalt was still studying her. Her whole body had gone stiff and she had stopped talking. The music played in the car, but they couldn’t relax again. Even their Alex body was pacing back and forth in their apartment. They had been laying down in bed trying to get back to sleep, but now they were alert and repositioning the mugs so the handles were all perfectly aligned.

Her hair, it really did look pretty like that, pulled into a ponytail with tendrils falling in her face. It ha a tendency to curl when she wasn’t forever straightening it or worrying at it. When she had been using (or trying to) use her powers it had sometimes curled and waved and seemed to move on it’s own sometimes. In the years since she had seemed to try and straighten it like she was trying to hide its bounce along with her powers. And she was often so anxious they were worried she was going to pull it straight out of her head.

They wanted to touch it and brush it back from her face. They wanted to ask her what had made her go quiet. What was bothering her.They wanted to bring her back to their place. They wanted… what did they want?

“Do…” Robert began clearing their throat “Do you want to” they continued cutting themselves off. Alex paused mid cup realignment. Eliza began to bite her thumbnail, and Teddys fingers drummed on the steering wheel.

“Gestalt, my building?” Myfanwy lean forward stopping them mid sentence. Gestalt tried not to jerk to a stop as they indeed almost drove past the building. They hadn’t realized they had already gone that far. Stupid, they knew her place. Been there dozens and dozens of times, and not just in the last year. The damn doorman had started making jokes about Myfanwy's band of friends looking like a pop group. 

“You almost missed it, now whose the tired one” she tried to joke but her heart wasn’t in it. They sat in silence for a moment not looking at each other.

“Let me walk you up” Robert started. “Thank you for the ride” Myfanwy overlapped him.  


They both glanced up at each other and the tension eased a bit as they shared a smile. Eliza softly laughed.

“Wait, what were you saying before? Do I what?” Myfanwy asked.

“Do you want to still have the meeting at noon?” Robert said smoothly covering the earlier request. “Ingrid e-mailed me”

“Or maybe dinner instead?” Eliza said turning around in her seat because why not risk it.

Myfanwy bounced her eyes from Robert to Eliza.

“Or not.” Teddy finished looking at her through the rearview mirror, maybe it was a bad risk to take.

“I…”

_you will be erased_

The words hung in the air. What would you do if you were going to be erased at any moment?

“Yes, dinner, that’s good. Great even.” she said nodding more to herself than anything. But then she half chickened out “Lots to go over and all. I'll have Ingrid reschedule it. Can just order some food to the office and sort it out”

Bloody lame cop out. she thought to herself You deserve to be erased.

But still, Eliza smiled, Robert looked pleased, and Teddy just kept his eyes forward, but a whisper of an Alex grin crossed his face miles away. It was better than nothing. Dinner would mean more time than just a noon meeting.

“Ok, tomorrow then,”

Myfanwy began to hop out of the car. But she stopped as Robert put a hand on her arm.

“Yes?” she asked turned to face them and the rest of the cars passengers. Eliza rolled down her window and leaned out.

She met each set of eyes in turn.

“You know you can tell me what’s going on Myf” Robert said softly.

Myfanwy looked away from them but her eyes ended up meeting with Elizas instead.

“Nothings going on,” She looked down gripping her bags.

“Do you want me to... Look, can I come up? Maybe we can talk?” Eliza asked making to get out of the car.

“NO.” she said hurriedly and far too loud, pulling her arm out of Gestalts grip, holding it out as if to physically stop them from exiting the car. Her apartment was still in a state of looney tune paranoid person who thinks their memory is going to be wiped. It was covered with papers, print outs, piles of cash and, oh god no Gestalt could NOT come up. It was one of the reasons she had canceled the meeting from the night before.

Gestalt sat back, all three bodies tensing and slipping on a mask of nonchalance. Eliza flipped her hair, Robert crossed his arms and leaned back. Teddy shifted as if trying to make themselves smaller and less noticeable.

“The place really is a wreck.” She pleaded. It was the truth.

“Sure” Eliza said full well remembering how neat and tidy Myfanwy had kept her part of their dorm room. It was why they had gotten along so well from the get go. Two tidy souls, who enjoyed their routine and putting things in their place (even though Gestalt went “almost too far” in Myfanwy's own words.) She was never a mess. Ever.

“No really, I was working on something and its, trust me, you’d think a pod person had taken over the apartment if you saw it” she tried to joke “I guess that’s how you’ll know if I’m ever taken over by aliens, my apartment will be as wrecked as it is right now and I’ll let you actually see it”

“Ok. Good night” Teddys voice was clipped as the rest of Gestalt turned to face forward.

“Right. Good night then. Thanks again for the ride” Myfanwy tried to cover.

She closed the door, and turned away. One step, two, three then on impulse she paused.

_Erased Erased_  


The word haunted her.

Oh god, what if it was tonight was when it happened? What if she never saw them again? She turned to knock on their door and ask them…Something? To stay? To tell them everything? To admit things having nothing at all to do with these stupid predictions?

But by then they had already driven away.


	3. A Delicious Request part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown Clock: 124 Days to memory loss

Gestalt liked pizza. It was one of the few things they could order without choosing four totally (unnecessary) different styles of and no one would potentially “feel uncomfortable”. Plenty of people like all veggie or just plain pepperoni, so they didn’t have to order four different kinds of toppings just to fit in. It would be impolite to request such a thing. Alex grabbed an extra large slice of meat lovers for themselves while Myfanwy was nibbling on a slice of pepperoni with extra garlic. It was quiet tonight, even the cleaning staff had finished their portion of the floor. The Rookery always had someone about in case of emergencies, but even Ingrid had been sent home to enjoy the weekend. The two of them sat quietly eating pizza and going over things.

In truth, these could have been quick meetings with an 15 minute char or some weeks an email but they had come to look forward to it. Tuesdays were still rather brief, just going over what had (or hadn’t) happened over the weekend. Thursday were for paperwork, summarizing, and food. One or more of Gestalt would attend and the rest of them would continue working or go home depending on time of day. While Gestalt had been disappointed they hadn’t gone out to an actual dinner this was better than nothing.

_It wasn’t like I asked her on a date, so it isn’t like she turned me down._ they repeated to themselves with a little voice in their head screaming that they SHOULD have asked her on a date. That voice was being punched in the throat by their sense of self preservation.

Alex had gone over the missions from the week before including one small scuffle near the London Eye, and some planned off site investigations they were sending themselves on, and a update on how they were still trying to crack an issue with a recent money laundering scheme involving possible vultures. Myfanwy had let them know that the revised continuing training program budget for the Barghests had be revised until Conrad and Linda could work some things and that there was some accounting issue with a small outpost in Cornwall and that she might be personally overseeing a potential EVA named Josie for recruitment (she carefully skipped over why). It was boring, but comforting to go over items of national security.

But Myfanwy was having a very hard time concentrating and she knew Gestalt could tell. They knew her too well, and she was grateful they were letting it slide. She realized she had been looking over the same piece of paper, something they both needed to sign off on, at least four times, and she had probably missed some things Gestalt had said (did she just agree with them that she would look into increasing the budget for body armor or for body mics?). Her mind was completely elsewhere.

Myfanwy was a planner, a write down every step and check it off the list. And right now she was formulating a new plan different from the freaking out/half acceptance/post memory loss plan while also trying to balance the books for a secret government organization that didn’t strictly exist. It was exhausting.

But as she looked over the budget for the Barghests she started to wonder. She was spending all this time dealing with the “what will happen after” she had never really tried to think, what if she could avoid whatever fate was coming for her all together by actually standing up for once and fighting it? The future couldn’t be totally set right? She still had time to change it.

She had always been rubbish at self defense at Glengrove. Her powers, her fighting skills, sure she could defend herself decently enough for anyone who had spent her later teen years in a military/super power school/paranormal research/secret agent training program. But her peers had mostly been there since birth or early childhood. She had never had a chance to catch up let alone excel like they had. 

She couldn’t work on her powers, that would be disastrous and she really had no clue where to start and she didn’t want to (read: she was too scared too). 

She glanced up at Alex where they where leaning over their iPad, pizza slice in hand. Myfanwy put her pizza down and wiped her mouth.

“Gestalt...” 

“hmmm?” They had just taken a giant greedy bite of pizza and their mouth was full. Myfanwy stifled a laugh. It was the Alex Gestalt way to eat pizza (in public at least). Eliza delicately nibbled, Teddy ate it rolled up and Robert tended to cut up the first bits of it if it was too big and greasy. In private they all tended to eat the way Alex was eating right now- big happy bites. It’s one of the reasons she always suggested pizza when it was just the Alex and her. It felt more like they weren’t keeping up the show.

“I need a favor”

“I’m still not babysitting the Apostos situation.” Alex said around a mouthful. “You can’t make me. It’s a waste of my talent and time. I don’t care what Linda and Conrad say.”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes and stifled another laugh. She had already dealt with that issue and Gestalt knew it. “No, no. I mean, I’ll try talking to them about it again but I don’t think either of us have a choice in the matter. Look, this is going to sound weird” she began picking nervously at nonexistent lint on her cardigan. 

Gestalt raised an eyebrow, now this was intriguing. Was this why she had been so upset. Was she opening up? They tried to keep the calm light hearted persona on. They noticed she was beginning to get agitated, picking more fiercely at her cardigan. So they leaned forward and grabbed her hand with theirs removing it from her cardigan. It felt warm in theirs.It had been an impulse, but it felt... right. They both looked at their hands clasped together. Her small one in their large one, then back at each other. 

“Myf,” their voice did not crack did it? No, they were fine.They gave her a crooked grin to break the tension “how weird is weird? I mean” they waved their other hand at the papers in front of her still holding their pizza slice. “weird is what we do”

_Ok, just ask it’s not like you need to explain exactly why _she thought to herself. 

“I want you to help me brush up on my self defense skills.” She blurted out.

****

Countdown Clock: 123 days to memory loss

“How much rank did you have to pull to get this place cleared out?” Myfanwy asked before her jaw cracked open with a yawn. When she had asked them to help her with a quick self defense brush up, she had NOT meant for them to show up at her flat at 5 fucking AM on a the next morning (it was Saturday! Let her have her day off.) and drag her out of bed. And then made her run a 5K around the park with them before driving her to the Rookery for the ‘actual’ work out. 

OK, so she had jogged more than ran. They had been utterly (annoyingly) cheerful of course. The bastard had left Robert and Teddy still asleep in bed so they were getting plenty of rest while she suffered. She truly wished she actually knew how to use her powers just so she could trip them or have them fling themselves off the path and into the lake.

_You asked for this, and who knows how many mornings you have left wake up and smell the sunshine. I need tea. Oh wait, maybe this is how you lose your memory, your are so sleepy that you slip while training with Gestalt and crack your head on their perfect face_. She thought

“Not much rank at all” Eliza shrugged and Alex removed their hands from their grey hoodie pockets and swiped a keycard on the door. “Hardly anyone uses the sparing room during the weekend unless there’s prescheduled training exercises. I just told them I needed it. I occasionally bring all of me down to train at once so it was nothing new.” they shrugged in unison. They had learned how to engage in combat with all four bodies, fighting in various combinations including against themselves, as a teen. It was a good way to keep their mental, physical, and emotional compartmentalizing skills sharp. But they disliked an audience so they would reserve the room for “rooks only” and clear the area and have a private session by themself.

“You’d know this if you trained like you were supposed to” Alex scolded nudging her shoulder with his own as they walked in. For once they weren’t the only body in relaxed clothes, though their normally cleaned and tailored polo and track suit (they were not an animal thank you! Finding clothes, even polos and track suits that fit over their muscular frame and still looked good could be daunting. It was all about the tailoring) had been replaced with more basic pair black pair of black gym shorts, grey fitted t. Eliza had donned black yoga pants and a pink tank top under a nondescript black hoodie for the workout, her blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail. Both removed their hoodies, carefully hanging them up on hooks and slipped out of their shoes so they could better spar on the mats. They were relaxed enough with Myfanwy that they didn’t care if they moved too much in unison.

Myfanwy was still half asleep as she hung her oversized sweatshirt on a hook next to them and stumbled out of her shoes. She was still muttering about them being blonde torturers and scorned them for not letting her grab a hot tea on her way in. 

She was too tired to even admire the bare arms and spandex clad and general dish that was Gestalt standing on either side of her (she had looked earlier as she had lagged behind them at one point, but was too cranky to fully appreciate it)

She sighed shuffling forward to the mats in front of the mirror and lifted her arms up and then down, falling into an old stretching routine, from the gloriously hated days of Glengrove training. 

What she failed to notice was two sets of Gestalt eyes watching her bend over.

Gestalt was reminded of the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” and were inwardly groaning. The sweatshirt had covered most of her before, and now…. Couldn’t she have worn baggy sweatpants too? An old baggy t-shirt? Just like the other times she had gone to their mandatory fitness tests? But no.. somewhere without them noticing she had invested in black spandex capris and a bright blue, very tight work out tank. 

_Sure Myf, I'll help you brush up on self defense. You won’t tell me why the sudden interest which will drive me mad, you will wear clothing that are perfectly acceptable and logical for what we are doing, but for some reason the very sight of you in them is making me want to strip them off of you with multiple sets of hands because I am, in fact, a monster, and then we will have to get all close and sweaty and I will have to touch you but not really TOUCH you and I did not think this through. I am being a horrible person. Get it together Gestalt. Count back from 100, you are better than this._

Gestalt was very thankful two of their other bodies were laying in bed at home and just… let those parts of them wake up and deal with the discomfort of sudden gym room related fantasies that they were now cooking up. Because they were horrible monsters but also human. 

***

Alex was holding her loosely in a kind of arm lock waiting for her to go thru with the steps to break it. Eliza had stepped out to go grab them some towels. They were facing the mirror and a red faced Myfanwy looked tired and frustrated with herself, the world, and them.

“Same steps Myf. You know this, we drilled them thousands of times before and a bunch today, you’ve got it” Alex said calmly. Myfanwy looked up meeting their eyes in the mirror, her back against their chest. Her breathing was labored, but not just from an hour of sparing with two well trained Checquy agents. She had been distracted the entire hour. Gestalt had called her out on it a few times. Teasing her. It hadn’t helped.

She needed to do this. It was a solid part of her new worst case scenario plan, and she needed to concentrate. It might be a way for her to avoid the whole attack. But 10 minutes into her session with Gestalt she realized she had failed to take into account the fact that they would be all up in each others business. And when Eliza had been touching her, moving her limbs to help her get in the proper stances, adjusting her arm to correct an angle or when Alex was “attacking her” like right now and holding her close it was hard not to be distracted.

How did they smell so good after all this working out? Both of bodies…was it a genetic thing? Something they put in their smoothies? She tried to remember if Teddy and Robert had ever smelled that good after a Glengrove torture session.

_Bad Myf… concentrate, you are here to work on self defense so you don’t lose everything remember? Stop thinking about sniffing peoples necks. Or kissing their necks. Or being anywhere near any of Gestalts necks. Their really really good looking necks attached to really really good looking-_

But an idea was hanging over her head, like some sort of cosmic “GRAB WHAT YOU WANT” sign and she was working very hard to ignore it. The idea that maybe the act of trying to fight the inevitable was well, inventible. So why not enjoy the time she had left? Hadn’t that old lady told her to get some? But she didn’t risk things. Especially not now when so much was at stake.

But if not now, then when?

She grabbed Alex’s wrist and gave a very unladylike like grunt as the muscle memory from years of training (god she was already sore and would need to spend ages in a hot bath later. Or cold one. She didn’t remember which it was) took over and she went thru the mock moves which ended with her flipping Alex to the floor.

Alex caught their fall and let out a whoosh of air and a laugh.

“Good girl” they said grinning and put their hands behind their curly blonde head and winked at her. “Very good”

Myfanwy screwed up her face and stuck out her tongue though the praise gave her a thrill. Her mind kept racing.

_What if it screwed up everything and the time she had left? _

_But what if it makes it better_? A little voice whispered _What’s the worst that could happen?_

As if the universe was laughing at her,Gestalt took advantage of her distraction and quickly sat up and grabbed her legs so that she ever so casually fell on her ass. Luckily muscle memory from years of being forced to fall on mats kicked in and she caught herself in the proper manner. She did squeak a bit though.

“Not funny!!” She cried out aghast. Alex HAD been ready to catch her if it looked like a bad fall, but they had a confidence in her that she didn’t have in herself. She sat up and slugged him in the arm. Gestalt let out a true belly laugh but tried to fake an injured groan at her punch.

“Hate you, you hideous monster” Myfanwy muttered flopping flat on her back next to them stretching her arms over her head and flexing her bare feet. Gestalt also laid back down with a sigh, so that they were laying heads next to each other, but their bodies pointing opposite directions.

“No you don’t, you think I’m amazing. And all of me is very good looking. I do believe you once told me I was cute and very pretty.”

She groaned.

“You are never going to let me live that down. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t understand yet! I said Teddy was cute in confidence to Eliza. In confidence mind you. And then I told Robert that Eliza was very pretty.” She paused “Alex is.. fine” sheteased.

Gestalt chuckled. She hadn’t understood them and been mortified when she had figured it out. There had been decelerations and apologies on both ends. 

“I am offended by that entire statement. To every part of my core Myfanwy. WOUNDED.”

They both burst out laughing for a bit. Slowly it died and they lay there in companionable silence. Gestalt finally sat up and helped her as well. She groaned.

“Sore?” Gestalt asked hauling her a bit closer and laying a large calloused hand on her shoulder giving it a squeeze. She nodded leaning into them on instinct with a soft groan. Their eyes met. They were sitting very close.

_What if you don’t have much time Myf?_ She thought. _Is it worth the risk to lose it all without ever knowing? What do you really want?_

With that in mind, and adrenaline from working out, from being too close to them all morning, and frankly fed up and exhausted after more than a month of panicked worrying, she did the most un-Myfanwy Thomas thing she could do. 

She risked. 

Or rather she placed her hands on Alex’s shoulders and pulled them close and kissed them. She kissed them with everything she had. Because if she was going to disappear maybe she wanted to go knowing she had at least done this once.


	4. A Delicious Request part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown Clock: 123. Just seconds from where part 1 left off... when Myf finally decided to take a risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for language and just a tiny bit of smutish smut.

Gestalt had a whole four body stutter. It was the only way to describe the reaction in their bodies. They had thought of this moment before, but never like this. They were always the instigators when they thought/dreamed about it. And they had thought about it. Often.

But here they were, in the Rookery, in a training room of all places, on sparing mats. And Myfanwy Thomas was kissing them like she needed oxygen. And they… they weren’t fucking kissing her back?!?!?!?

Robert sat upright in bed, and actually said out loud “I’m an idiot”. Teddy froze on the sofa where they had been trying to read the news, and let their iPad fall with thunk to the floor. Eliza stumbled into a wall on their way back from the locker room with the towels.

It was only a few seconds but it felt like a lifetime before they got their act together and started kissing her back, but that moment of hesitation had been all that was needed to kill whatever had given Myf courage.

She stopped kissing them and opened her eyes, staring into Alex’s own startled one. She covered her mouth with one hand.

“Myf I-” they started.

She shook her head holding her other hand silencing them. But she obviously misread the chaotic feelings in their eyes and pulled back scrambling to her feet. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean too-” she cut herself off her eyes filling with anxiety and her face turning red with embarrassment as she tried to put distance between them. They tried to stop her but she wouldn’t look at them and seemed to slip out of their grip like water.

“No Myfanwy, wait. Just wait a minute.” They actually tripped on the mats getting up, their coordination off.

“It’s fine. I get it, I misread things. I messed up, sod it all” her face was on fire, she caught a look at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. She was all sweaty, her hair was a damp and falling out of it’s elastic, and she must smell like a dumpster (or more likely garlic considering how much she had on her pizza last night).

How had she misread things so epically? Of course they didn’t want her, especially not like that. Nordic deities don’t belong with mere mortals after all. All these years and she was still unable to tell peoples intentions. This is why she should just stay in her office and never come out. Perhaps she could ask to work from home until the inevitable happened?

Maybe it was a good thing she was going to lose all her memories. She wouldn’t have to ever relive this moment again. How could she risk everything?

“Let me explain” Alex continued trying to calm her down as she ignored them.

Miles away Teddy was going through an entire dictionary worth of obscenities and Robert was questioning what the FUCK was wrong with themselves.

“You don’t have to explain” Myfanwy waved her hands at them “I get it. No need to let me down easy, it was a mistake, I’m sorry, I misread things let’s pretend it never happened-”

That was when Eliza burst in to the room at a run. They weren’t taking any chances.They dropped the towels on the floor as the door slammed behind them, the sound making Myfanwy spin around. Before Myfanwy could have another chance to apologize, Eliza was kissing her, pressing their body against hers, hands on either side of her face, tongue tracing her lips begging for admittance, which a startled Myfanwy soon gave. Shock gave away to automatic responses as she gave a soft sweet groan and her arms went around the smaller blonde returning her embrace. Gestalt felt themselves release a breath they hadn’t realized they were holding, their bodies relaxing.

Eliza pulled just centimeters away “I don’t want to pretend it never happened. It’s wasn’t a mistake,” they said breathlessly “Please don’t be sorry. You didn’t misread anything.”

It was on instinct that Alex moved the few steps towards them until Myfanwy was standing between the two parts of Gestalt, both bodies touching her, Eliza in front, Alex in back. She gasped into Elizas mouth as she felt Alex's breath on her neck. The three of them stilled.

“Myf…” Eliza asked quietly, trying to keep the worry out of their mouth, their lips still hovering over Myfanwy's, face tilted up to hers, not wanting to move too far away. “Is this still-“

“Ok” Alex finished, their lips also a fraction away from her skin.

Myfanwy was almost afraid to speak. So she nodded a small jerk of the head, and then she lipswere back to Eliza’s in a near bruising kiss as if she was starving and this was the only way to sustain herself. At the same time she felt Alex move their hands to her hips pulling her closer, so that she had to pull Elizas body into hers to keep the contact. She felt Alex groan against her neck, nipping, as their hands gripped her hips.

Gestalt needed to touch her. She had risked something, they had no idea what, to finally kiss them and they weren’t going to screw it up again. They were holding on. No more screw ups.

“Gestalt” she whispered once leaning back into Alex as Eliza began to kiss her jaw and move towards the other side of her neck. Gestalt groaned in unison as they pressed into Myfanwy's body. Alex bit and sucked at her shoulder, peeling the strap of her tank top over and to the side, Eliza mirroring on the other side.

Hands moved under the hem of her tank top on either side, teasing, light touches along her rib cage. In response, she pushed both her hands under Elizas tank top while leaning heavily into Alex’s solid form.

Myf felt Eliza soft skin under her hands, slick from their workout, a thin scar line from a mission gone slightly wrong along Elizas back, she traced her fingers along it and dipped down to Elizas waist, hips and then to their spandex covered arse. Gestalt pushed themselves forward on either side of her, as if trying meld their bodies into hers. Elizas left leg kicking up just a tick as they continued to enjoy Myfanwy's neck and being touched by her. Myfanwy was about to dive into another kiss with Eliza when both bodies somehow maneuvered her around to face Alex. She gasped as Alex bent to seal their lips onto hers and grabbed her ass, lifting her. Her legs went around him automatically, lips on theirs, one hand digging into their hair, the other clutching at their shoulders for balance. Eliza stepped to the side to allow Alex to move passed them. In a few long strides they had Myfanwy up against the wall. Their girl (was she finally theirs? God please say yes) just groaned, hands tugging at their hair, kissing them fiercely.

Eliza made quick work to double check that the door was securely locked (because they would more than likely end up having to shot any unfortunate Checquy employee that interrupted them rightnow. And while it would be worth it, Myf would have to fill out a lot of paperwork for Gestalt unloading a firearm on the premises which was not fair to her).

The door secure, Eliza joined them over to the wall and leaning heavily on it, eyes half lidded, head down enjoying the sensations between their legs. The warmth of it, the feeling of her in their arms. Elizas hands flexed out feeling Myfs soft skin under Alexes hands. Every sensation flooded all of them. Robert and Teddy sat in the apartment stock still, breathing deep, eyes closed… but very very aroused.

“Myf” Alex whispered like a prayer, as she bit their lip, sucking it and their bodies pressed harder into each other. She felt them, their hardness against her. Against her core. And god… Right… there… she shifted her hips and it was just… and she cried out moved along them again… that was the spot she wanted… rocking, wanting more, needing more. Needing the barriers between them gone, but not wanting to move or stop. Through her closed eyes she thought she saw a light flicker.

All of Gestalt struggled to breath, to maintain the rest of their bodies composures. Hard, wet, breath ragged, eyes unfocused. All for Myfanwy. All for her. They knew what she was doing with her hips. And they were only too happy to help. They pressed her harder into the wall. Slowly, torturously, again, and again.

Myfanwy groaned when Gestalt stopped kissing her, it was like a physical loss. But then she felt soft hands turning her face. Somehow Gestalt had maneuvered themselves so Alex still held her close, thrusting, helping her along, but Eliza managed to slide in closer and kiss her throughly.

“This still Ok?” Eliza murmured

Myfanwy nodded “Please” she whispered and both blondes only continued. Alex adjusted slightly and suddenly fingers moved exactly where they were needed and bodies clenched. Myf whimpered and gasped into Elizas mouth. The overhead lighting started to flare on and off. It was coming over her like a wave, closer, closer, almost, just there…and then… hard,hitting her all at once… and she felt Elizas gasps mirroring her own as she came apart and Alex’s body hard and tense against her. 

With a shuddering breath, Eliza nipped at her lips with a smile and rested her forehead against hers. Alex heaved a shaky breath into her shoulder. Both were still very keyed up, not fully completed and counting back slowly. Myfanwy could still feel Alex against her rigid and wanting, feel the panting needy breath of Eliza. But still, Alex moved slightly away the distance encouraging her legs too unwrap from around their hips. She groaned. No no no! They weren’t done. No! If Gestalt hadn’t finished they weren’t done.

She had no idea that in a flat across town, well…the other two Gestalt bodies had rolled over gasping with a very completed look on their faces.

They set her down on shaky legs and Alex leaned both hands on either side of her trying to catch their breath to get themselves under control kissing her gently on the jawline. They took a deep breath and trained their eyes on Myfanwy, a dark a telling look on their eyes. She really didn’t need to worry. They were not done yet, not by a long shot.

Eliza placed one hand along side Myfanwy’s shoulder and traced her collar bone till Myfanwy turned to look at her. “Off” both Eliza and Alex said together in rough voices, four hands reaching out tugging at her tank top.

Myfanwy, her lips swollen with kisses gave a small smile and leaned away and began to comply with their request. She slowly rolled her tank top up and off. Alex and Eliza licked their lips watching her and bit those same lips in unison realizing she had been wearing a tank top with a well designed, well built in sports bra. So now she was…. Oh she knew what she had been doing. She took before them in nothing but her spandex pants. Her breasts displayed for them to admire and… yeah they were going to need a moment. She covered herself raising an eyebrow at them. 

“Fuck Myf…” Eliza whispered as they looked wishing she didn’t feel the need to cover herself in front of them.

A wicked grin crossed Alex’s face and they were on her again, moving her hands out of the way, Alex pulled her in close admiring her. Alex bent over her torso and took one of her breasts in their mouth. Alex began to suck at one perfect pink nipple causing Myfanwy's eyes to roll back as she panted.

“Not… Fair” Myfanwy muttered in between breaths.

Eliza moved forward and tilted Myfanwy’s face towards her and whispered “do you like that Myf?”

Myfanwy nodded but used a free hand to draw them to her and kiss them.“But what about yo-” she started to ask but was silenced by more kissing and the feeling of Elizas slender cool hands on her other breast rolling the nipple expertly between her fingers.

“Im doing just fine” Alex whispered pulling back and blowing on her. “I am very very-”

“Good” Eliza purred into the kiss.

“Gestalt…” Myfanwy managed a mutter was replaced as Eliza started to move from her lips to nip at her neck and earlobe. Alex on the other hand was starting to lick down her stomach. Myfanwy tried to think. She needed to… Gah! They were so distracting.

“Gestalt, wait”

“Mmmm?” they asked together, pausing at her request.

“Do… Have… Condom?” she managed to get out between gulps of breath.

Well, fuck.

On one hand this was not exactly how they wanted their first time with Myfanwy to be anyway. And on a very similar hand, they didn’t have any condom. And they would do what she wanted…

On another very selfish selfish hand…

Noooooooo!!!!!! Son of a bitch!

A look like panic began to flicker in both sets of eyes as Gestalt contemplated how fast they could get back to her place or how fast Teddy could drive there without hitting any pedestrians.

“I-”

“Because I have an IUD and I’m clean.” She said matter of factly.

_Oh_ they thought _Okay then_

“Me too?” Eliza said almost as a question.

“And I'm clean." Alex finished. "All of me I mean. I’m clean.”

“Okay. Plus…” Myfanwy slid her gaze to Eliza and the heat began to rise again. “Option E?”

They laughed at that. Actually laughed at out.

She actually was perfect. They nodded. Myfanwy began to advance on Eliza.

Internally Myfanwy was making a checklist.

Step 1. Undress Eliza Gestalt

Step 2. Fuck Gestalt

Step 3. Undress Alex Gestalt

Step 4. Fuck Gestalt again

Step 5. Not think at all on impending memory loss or the fact that she was about to fuck Gestalt in a training room. At work. Where they had-

“Oh fuck. Are there cameras in here?”

Alex was moving quickly to where their hoodie and gun was. “I can shoot them if it makes you feel better?”

*******

45 minutes later

It took some time to calm Myfanwy down and assure her that their camera were off and not recording. Gestalt always made sure the cameras were off during their private sessions, it was part of why they had suggested using the facilities-privacy and security.They told her they would double check and that they were at their flat using their Rook clearance double checking the system and they had found nothing, everything was good.

They really would have shot up all of the expensive equipment if it would have made her feel better.

But the mood was broken and she was already half way back in her top and sneakers before they began talking.

She quietly asked to be taken home. Gestalt didn’t hesitate to comply, guilt washing over them.

On the drive back Myfanwy seemed to be folding into herself again. Over thinking. Not talking. Head in her hands. Gestalt was swearing to themselves, kicking themselves and unable to think of anything to lighten the mood. They should have thought about the cameras, even if they were not functioning during the sessions, they should have KNOWN the existence of them would make her uncomfortable. They should have never let it get that far. 

They were getting increasingly agitated by their massive lapse in judgement (they should have just asked her to move elsewhere. Why didn’t they think?!). As they pulled up to the loading zone at her flat she grabbed Elizas hand startling them out of their loop of self loathing. She didn’t look at them, but squeezed their hand.

“Don’t pull into the drop off. Pull into the parking garage…. Please?”

In silence, Gestalt did as told.

They parked and then both bodies turned to look at her expectantly. Myfanwy seemed to be thinking, holding Elizas hand. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Come upstairs with me?” she whispered hesitantly. She looked at both Alex and Eliza, “Please?” she repeated her plea.

*****

Myfanwy was frustrated. She had kissed Gestalt. She had then (eventually) been kissed back by Gestalt. She had then gotten an orgasm from Gestalt and had herself throughly on the way to being properly fucked by Gestalt except for one tiny possible career ending speed bump. So if that or a prophecy about her losing her memory came tru and her live was ending,she might as well also take the advice the strange old blonde woman had given her.

Bang it out. Just bang it the fuck out.

As soon as she had disarmed the alarm and locked the door behind them, she had calmly walked over to Eliza and started trying to take that advice.

Hands were everywhere and Myf was pleased to note Gestalt seemed just as eager to divest her of her clothes as she did of theirs. A trail of clothing was being left behind them as Myf backed Eliza towards the bedroom.

Alex followed, their body movements jerky as they hung up the jackets (habits) and gathered the clothing left on the floor. Gestalt was a mixture of overstimulated and shocked by Myfanwy's boldness (they didn’t know what was inspiring this, but they weren’t going to question it… until later. Possibly? Maybe?). They stopped just in the doorframe leaning heavily there.

“Can I watch?” Eliza asked hesitantly as Myfanwy began to kiss their neck. Myfanwy halted for a moment, and pulled slightly away. She looked down at the lovely body sitting on the bed in front of her, clad only in underwear and a sports bra. Myfanwy moved her gaze up their body their face and met their blue eyes. She smiled biting her lip realizing Gestalt was requesting that Alex be allowed to watch her with Eliza. There was a mixture of hope and heat in those eyes.

Myfanwy then proceeded to gently push Elizas shoulders down so she was flush on the bed and then crawled on top of her, kissing their collarbone and going for the front zipper of their sport bra.

“Hurry in then… but loose the clothes Gestalt” she whispered into Elizas ear. Gestalt laughed in unison, Elizas hands moving to grip Myfanwy’s hips.

“Bold request” Alex said entering the room shedding their shirt.

Myfanwy didn’t respond. She was busy with the feast right in front of her. Perfect. She licked her lips as Eliza sat up just enough to finish removing the sports bra. Laying back down, they gestured at her to ‘catch up’ as it were. Myfanwy obliged removing the last of her clothing and then moving to finish removing Elizas. She didn’t know if they would have plenty of time to undress each other in the future, but for now, for today, this, this was enough. The two of them lay across the bed kissing, touching, hands reaching, flutters, gasping. Exploring each other for the first time.

She felt Elizas hands on her scars and tensed, almost tried to close her legs and hide, but the way Gestalts looked at her, with understanding, not a bit of pity in their eyes, how their hand stroked them, and would later kiss them reverently like they were just part of the roadmap of her, she felt… well she felt her worried over them lift.

Every so often Myfanwy would catch a shift of movement, a startled breath from across the room, and meet Alex’s eyes there. And she felt Gestalt watching her as much as she felt Gestalt under her, next to her, and over her.

It should have been strange, but it was all just Gestalt. She wasn’t into voyeurism. Not by a long shot. She was into Gestalt. The way when she touched Eliza there, she saw Alex close their eyes and shift their leg. How when she had touched, licked, sucked and brought Eliza to completion they had both cried out her name.

All four bodies had caught unaware when she had first moved between Elizas legs, how she had breathed on them, so softly at first and then tenderly then begun to lick and dear god, that was not fair.

Later Myfanwy would think about what the rest of Gestalt was doing, but at that point she was distracted because Eliza had started to move her hands between her thighs again, but this time she slowly teased her way toward her center, torturing her until she begged her to touch her where she needed it, Alex had moved from their seat and with permission had taken her mouth, hands on her breasts. She was lost to sensations, lost to Gestalt. Everything narrowing down to just them and that moment.

She didn’t spare a thought for the light bulb that hissed and popped.

****

Gestalt rolled over in tandem. They had felt Myfanwy get up, heard her move, despite how careful she had tried to avoid waking them from their nap. They tried to maintain the facade of sleep as she stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She hadn’t invited them, so they let her have a moment alone. Her body probably needed a break. Theirs certainly did. At least these two did.

Back at the flat, Gestalt had managed to shower and get dressed. But they were now four restless bodies trying to figure out their next move. Did they get dressed and leave? Switch out? Ignore their initial polite instinct and join her in the shower? Alex hadn’t actually been with her yet, so was now good? Relationships were not exactly something covered at the Checquy. They had TRIED to bring them up a few times, but it was more “how to seduce a mark” or “how to maintain a pretend relationship for a period of time” or “How to avoid STDs and why an unplanned pregnancy should be avoided by all of you or else”. There was no playbook for this sort of thing. Four thumbnails were gnawed on. They needed to make some choices. Quickly.

Myfanwy heard them rustling outside her bathroom door. She had tried to be quiet, but stealth was not her strong suit. She meant to shower quickly, but as she scrubbed she tried not to moan. She ached. From the run, the workout, and from the ‘workout’. She hoped she didn’t have any hickys where they might be seen. Thank goodness for her collection of high collars. 

She was never spontaneous. This was epic levels of spontaneous. And while it had been delicious, she was now stuck in her own head, trying to figure out what to do next.

She had two bodies belonging to the person she trusted more than almost anyone in the room beyond. Possibly still nude. Possibly ready for a round twoish (_yes! No. YES! No. YAASSS! Sore! But.. Yes? _She was very conflicted). She also had a panic room just a few feet away from them filled with fake money, papers on how to fake your death, contacts to illegal sources and file folders with information she wasn’t supposed to have. She had stationary on her desk ready to write letters warning herself, and a draft of things to say to the camera.

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it” Eliza called.

“Hell” Myfanwy said beginning to have a panic attack. It was too much. Did she take her pills that morning? She had been trying to cut down on them, store up a supply in case she needed to run. She was only given a certain amount at a time and it’t not like she could guarantee the supply long term, but she was also trying to avoid withdrawal or going too long without them . Shit shit shit. The doorbell again. Who was there?

“It’s the post! You got something from amazon?” Alex called.

She relaxed. Must be the tablets and key fobs she had ordered for the new safety deposit boxes.

Blue to go. Red to stay.

_Erased erased._

She had gone a few blissful hours without having those words ring in her head. Now they were back and her head was starting to pound.

“Yeah.. Uhh just a second”. Her pills. She needed to calm down. Shit her powers had flared during all this hadn’t they? Crap. She rushed out of the shower almost slipping, grabbing her towel. Digging thru the medicine cabinet as quietly as she could. Ripping into the foil packet she swallowed one dry and started trying to dry off. Gestalt knocked.

“You OK Myf?” Alex had on their fake cheerful voice. She recognized it right away. She estimated 1 minute before they were knocking again.

“Just slipped. I’m fine, give me a moment”

She could almost feel the tension outside the door.

“Myfanwy.” Both of their voices now. Less than a minute.

Myfanwy looked at the pill packet in her hands frowning at it.

_You should be worried. I know I am_ She thought to herself. “I’m going mad and I don’t know if I made things better or worse”

“Are you talking to yourself in there?” Gestalt as Alex asked.

“Yes” she said truthfully.

“Can’t you do that out here?” still Alex

“No. You’ll look at me funny”

There was a silence.

“You could always just talk to me instead.” Eliza replied.

Myfanwy kept looking at the pills. She didn’t want to lie. With a sigh she grabbed a robe from the back of the door and tried to get the worst of the wet out with a towel. She was damp, not exactly sexy but… it would have to do. She hated wet hair, it was not her best look. But no way in hell was she walking out there with a towel turban around her head. She didn’t care if Gestalt owned one for all four of their pretty blonde heads (she knew they did. She and Ingrid had gotten them a set for Christmas last year. And she knew for a fact they used them because Gestalt had casually mentioned that she was right about dry heads making it easier to get to sleep).

She looked again at the pill packets as she put them away. An idea was forming. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but she had a feeling Gestalt was about to ask her things, things she didn’t want to answer yet. The pills, her starting to lower her dosages, that could work as a cover.

_You can use this. It’s not a lie. It’s a half truth. If they ask, you have a ready made answer. _

She was compiling a list.

**Step one**. Figure out what their next move is

**Step two**. Don’t jump them before you at least figure out part of step one

**Step three.** Figure out what to do about work because vetting officers are going to dig too deep right now.

**Step four.** Keep working on step 2

**Step five**. Figure out how to get rest of Gestalt here ASAP

**Step five**. Don’t get so carried away you forget that you can’t let them know.

She walked out to find Eliza no longer in the doorway but sitting on her bed, fully dressed. She glanced out the doorway and saw Alex sitting on the sofa, also dressed.

“Leaving?” she said her voice betraying her disappointment.

“I thought maybe you wanted me to.” Eliza said softly but they were trying very hard to look anywhere but at the still wet, and obviously very naked under the robe Myfanwy.

“Not really.”

“Oh” they said together a bit of hope in their voice.

Alex cleared their throat.

“Anything good?” Eliza gestured to the two boxes on her counter.

“Just something I needed,” Myfanwy ignored it.

“Do we need to talk?” Eliza walked over towards her.

“Seems unfair, you dressed, me in just a robe” Myfanwy tried to joke as she shifted from foot to foot, taking one tiny step back.

“Maybe I like you in just a robe” Gestalt felt too far away from her. Though they were maybe an arms length apart now. But they stopped then.

“I don’t think that type of talk is what you had in mind is it?”

Gestalt was about to say something more when Elizas stomach rumbled softly. They looked down at themselves embarrassed as Alex muttered “of course”

Myfanwy burst out laughing the tension broken.

“How about food and then talk? We can figure out some things? Like what’s… next?”

_Like how to keep this under the radar at work and how to keep you from figuring out what’s going on even though you are a super spy. _

Eliza smiled. “Yes please.” They moved forward and began to play with the binding of the robe. “I honestly do like you in this robe”

Myfanwy groaned and put her arms around their neck. “This really is going to be a full days workout.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to JLKnox for betaing this. I know I was a cranky writer. Your advice was really epic.


	5. I Want S’more Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown Clock: 107 Days  
Gestalt Takes Myfawny on a 1st Date
> 
> If you could call it a first date when one hadn’t exactly asked the other person if it was a date. And when the people in question had over a decade of lingering looks, shared trauma, and now over 2 weeks of fooling around whenever possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for SMUT, language and implied self harm. Additional warning for this being freaking long as frack. This was supposed to be a short fluffy fun chapter... It did not go according to plan. Oops?

Apparently two-plus weeks of regular exposure to extra curricular activities with Gestalt was enough to make one a full-on addict. It had been one of the few things able to distract Myfanwy from her paranoid, impending doom plans. But the past 5 days marked the first time in years all four of Gestalts bodies had been deployed or were unavailable, Myfanwy was Gestaltless and therefore going into a form of withdrawal. AKA, she missed them like crazy and wanted all of Gestalt back right now safe and sound. Preferably with at least one of them naked in her bed.

Sure, she and Gestalt had texted back and forth, and she had been blessed with Alex sending a VERY delicious photo that she contemplated deleting for security purposes, but couldn’t bring herself to do for... battery operated purposes, but it wasn’t the same. And now her normal worry over their safety when they were on assignment had an entirely new layer to it that she wasn’t quite ready to deal with. So she kept busy in other not-exactly-healthy but very productive ways. Like tonights fun-filled checklist of paranoia prep.

**Step one:** Pour Wine.

**Step two:** Check for updates from Gestalt, probably be disappointed at lack of updates/photos.

**Step three:** Drink wine, but not as much as she would want to so letters don’t get sloppy.

**Step four:** Write bird cunt letters.

**Step five:** Don’t check for updates because this is getting ridiculous, but glance at photo for reasons.

**Step six:** Write other letter.

**Step seven:** Light reading of several weird files found this week.

**Step eight:** Double check panic room like a paranoid person.

**Step nine:** Take rest of wine to bed but leave phone because you would text, and desperation is not attractive.

**Alternative step nine:** Take wine AND phone to bed, and enjoy photo.

She was currently stuck between steps six and seven.

First she had written the letter to the bird cunt --AKA Bristol-- which could be summed up as “Give me this letter if I show up on your doorstep, don’t ask me why, don’t contact me, don’t be a prick”.

With that she had written a companion letter addressed to herself which directed her in no uncertain terms to run. She was tempted to write an all bold faced note stating ‘What the hell is wrong with you? RUN. Bad Myf, no cookie’. She didn’t do it of course. If she let herself have more wine she might have considered it. She had almost recorded a video saying something similar the night before with far more graphic language, but had forgotten to hit the record button… Thank God.

She just knew that the Bristol issue would find a way to insert itself into her future. It seemed wrong to just toss her problems on the new person in her body, especially when they were trauma-free. She wanted to give them every chance to avoid it. Myfanwy had even ventured down to the archives to find out what exactly was still there. She had used her role as Rook to have more of the information redacted and removed. 

There had been one odd thing she found while snooping. A file from four years ago was tucked into the box of information. It didn’t make sense. She didn’t have time to go through it, so, without really looking at the details, she snapped a few photos of what she couldn’t take and jotted down the case number from the file. She had requested some documents related to a number on the folder and they were sitting on a drive in her panic room right now.

Myfanwy also double-checked that any traces of Bristols address and as much of his name as possible was removed from the records. She already knew where he lived, from when he had sent her the glass birds on her window sill.

Now Myfanwy glanced over at those birds for a moment, the eyeless things taunting her.

_You can’t trust anyone. Not even someone you have feelings for. People betray you. Always._

She returned her gaze ahead of her. The two letters to send too bird cunt carefully sealed in a single envelope and ready to be mailed. It felt heavy and hot in her hand. Old memories were being dragged to the surface. She took a deep breath as she heard a sound like a light bulb sizzle. Her heart was thudding.

_Just breathe. You are fine. You aren’t safe. I mean, you ARE safe. Are safe._

Weaning off the medicine was going better than expected but right now she was having a tough go of it. She squeezed her eyes shut and then looked down at the table. 

Myfanwy had finished her other letter as well, and it was tucked into the little blue box on the table in front of her. 

How do you explain to yourself how fucked up you truly are? Explain that the scars on your thighs are because you can’t stop from thinking you deserve to hurt? Or that at one point you were actually trained to try and hurt yourself to be a better asset?

Maybe she could just throw it away?

No. She had tried that. Multiple times. Once she had even dumped the entire contents in a dumpster. 48 hours later she had been at a Superdrug in the middle of the night to replace them. And that had been during a period when she wasn’t cutting or going through any sort of crisis.

She had kept the letter short, to the point, no details. Put it inside and closed the box.

Lately she had been too caught up in this whole mess to think much about the box or how long she had gone without ‘needing’ it.

But suddenly she was thinking very hard about the blue box in front of her. Myfanwy put the Bristol letter down next and placed both hands on the little blue box, eyes closed. She didn’t want to.

She clicked the lid open.

A buzzing noise made her jump and she slammed the lid shut with a guilty glance at the intercom.

It was 9PM, far too late for anyone to be calling on a Monday night, at least, it was late for anyone to be calling on Myfanwy. She ran over to hit the intercom button and saw…

“Gestalt! You weren’t supposed to be back till Wednesday!”

Robert’s face smiled confidently at her though the screen. “Change of plans. I’m here to kidnap you. Get dressed.”

***

“You made me wait 15 minutes. I’m hurt” Robert said softly greeting Myfanwy as the lift doors opened and she stepped out.

“Have to give a girl more of a heads-up so she can put on appropriate clothes for her kidnapping.And by the way, if you’re going to kidnap me, the least you could do is lure me out with something sweet… like candy or ice cream” Myfanwy teased as she followed Robert out of the lobby and into the rain.

“Am I not sweet enough for you Myfanwy Thomas?” Gestalt smiled down at her opening their black umbrella.

“Oh, I think you’re perfectly lickable on your own” she took a moment to realize what she had just said and froze in the rain gasping at her own audacity. Even Robert looked at her for a moment, shocked, before he burst out laughing. Gestalt smiled and grabbed Myfanwy's hand, pulling her into an embrace under the umbrella.

“I’m lickable am I?” he said softy.

“Forget I said anything.” She mumbled, embarrassed.

They stood quietly for a moment in a loose embrace. She wanted to snuggle in closer. The navy coat (with letter in pocket) and black sweater she had hastily thrown on, hit her at mid thigh and was warm enough, but somewhere in the past few weeks she had begun to rely on getting a regular ‘fix’ of Gestalt body heat near her person. Having it gone for 5 days and suddenly feeling it again was a revelation. She was very close to just straight up abusing professional position and signing official documents to never let more than three of Gestalts bodies be more than one room away from her at all times. 

Robert leaned his head down to touch noses with her. 

“Thank you for coming out. I know you were probably in bed”

“Do you really think I’m that much of a boring person?” she tried to put some sass in her voice but was too busy enjoying being in their arms.

_I was writing depressing warnings, contemplating very unhealthy habits and all my mental issues. So much more fun._ She thought.

Robert smiled, releasing her, and looking out into the rain. They started walking down the street. “Are you telling me you DIDN’T have to change out of pajamas and into those trousers?”

Myfanwy scowled. Then she grinned “You’re just jealous because you didn’t get to see them.” She lowered her voice and leaned up to whisper in their ear “They were very short and flimsy.” (That was a lie: they had been old sweat pants)

Robert groaned and stopped walking for a moment. “Change of plans, let’s go back upstairs” and did a playful half turn as if to drag her back to the flat. Which just made her laugh.

“Hey now! I put on pants for this. On with the kidnapping Gestalt.” Myfanwy laughed.

***

Gestalt looked down at her with the soft earnest smile that only seemed to feel right on Robert’s face. Leaning down, he kissed her softly on the cheek.

Elsewhere, the rest of Gestalt was in three different beds, in three different cities, asleep. Despite all three being in hotels with king size beds, they all kept to their “section” of the bed, as if the rest of their bodies were there. Gestalt didn’t even attempt to position any of their bodies differently, no matter where they were or how deeply they slept.

The past five days had been exhausting. And they hadn’t been able to get their mind off of their new favorite form of R&R in the form of Myfanwy Thomas. Or stop thinking of their new favorite game: all the ways they could make her say their name or the ways she would let them (finally) touch her. They felt a bit mad with it. So when one of their bodies had been given the chance to come back early, they had jumped at it. Even going so far as to put the rest of themselves to bed as early as possible to ‘rest up’. They normally tried to either have all of their bodies asleep at once, or have at least two awake at a time.

Robert was feeling almost wired since they were the only body currently active and awake. Gestalt had divided and conquered, starting with a series of internet searches and calls as soon as Robert had been released and started on the two hour drive back to London. By the time he had arrived back at the flat, the rest of the bodies had gone to bed, and he had had one hour to ‘primp’ before he had rushed to Myfanwy’s place.

According to Goggle what they thought of as the ‘Should we talk to our vetting officers’ discussion was known as a DTR or a “Define the relationship” talk. Who knew?

But it was necessary if only because Ingrid was giving them scathing “seriously?” looks on the regular along with knowing eye-rolls. Gestalt was just a tiny bit afraid of her sometimes.

They were also a very practical person who know that realistically they couldn’t keep this hidden forever. It was kind of fun sneaking around though.

But they had also missed her. Wanted her. Needed to see her.

It had been a hard choice how to go about seeing her tonight. Should they skip the talk and simply rush over and into her bed? Call her to meet them at their place as soon as they arrived? Or take her out on an actual date, which was something they realized with growing horror, they hadn’t done. 

The idea of a date and talk over drinks won out.

“Mmm… scruffy” Myfanwy was running the tip of her index finger along the side of their jaw causing Gestalt to groan inwardly and wish they HAD dragged her back to the flat. Why had they decided to not just go inside again? 

“Not a fan?” Robert said, trying to sound calm as the two of them walked. He gathered her under his arm, holding her close to his side, still shielding them with the umbrella. 

“No. It suits Robert. I like it.” Myfanwy said leaning into Robert with a happy sigh. 

The compliment made Robert grin. Gestalt really enjoyed having her in their arms. How had they gone so long just… waiting? Why hadn’t they risked this earlier? They had literally just been sitting on 4 sets of hands when they could have had their those hands touching her, all their arms wrapped around her.

Plenty of time to make up for things. All the time in the world.

“Where are we going on this kidnapping?” Myfanwy asked

“It’s a surprise”

“You know I hate surprises” Myfanwy said honestly raising an eyebrow. “Even unexpected office cake comes with strings attached and potential disaster”

“I know, but you trust me right?”

Myfanwy was silent a beat too long.

“Myf?” Robert looked down at her.

***

She was startled for a moment, the way he looked down at her under that umbrella, his eyes questioning, his mouth opened as if he was going to say more. To ask a question.

_No, no. Don’t ask me that again._

“I’m just… not exactly dressed for anything fancy? Not all of us have the Gestalt fashion sensibility” Myfanwy interrupted whatever he might be able to say, trying to cover the awkward moment with teasing. She eyed Robert. He was impeccably dressed as always in black jeans, black silk t-shirt under a black undone button-down with a soft charcoal stripe, grey coat on top. She always felt a bit underdressed when she was out with Gestalt. _Well, not when it’s Alex_ she thought.

“You look lovely” Robert smiled at her, but there was definitely a shadow of doubt in his eyes. Gestalt was too smart not to have noticed her lapse. “We’re here”

They had only walked a few blocks. Myfanwy looked up at the nondescript building in front of them. It looked like a multipurpose building. Where was he taking her?

“Here?” She asked incredulously as Robert led her, not to the front door but to the side entrance. Two people stood under a green awning in front of the industrial sized lift. They were talking in loud happy voices occasionally breaking into laughter. The first, was a bearded man in his 40’s and could best be described as a ‘lumbersexual’. He was imperially groomed and wearing designer flannel. The other was a woman blue-haired woman with tattoos who would have been taller then the lumbersexual even if she hadn’t been wearing heels with her low cut black jumpsuit.

The pair stopped their conversation when they caught sight of the approaching Rooks. The woman looked them both up and down and nudged the lumbersexual who handed her a scanner. “Got yer code?”

Robert closed his umbrella and pulled up a QR code on his phone. The woman scanned the code, giving both Rooks another appreciative once over. She then handed him a small green with a number on it. Meanwhile the lumbersexual had pulled open the hatch to the lift and waited for them to enter.

The woman winked at them as they stepped in “Like the hair luv” she said to Robert “though the nearly all black just needs a bit of white at the collar for it to really get the ladies going”

Robert and Myfanwy both looked startled.

The bearded man rolled his eyes.

“Tiff, the jumpsuit does not automatically make every Fleabag joke you make funny! Please stop making bad hot priest jokes.”

“You’re just jealous cause I’m flirting with the pretty young things!” She said sticking her hands on her hips

“Wife of mine, you must stop breaking young men and women’s hearts. It's just cruel.” The lumbersexual lift operated called as the door to the lift closed leaving the blue-haired woman laughing at them and making a heart shape out of her hands.

“My wife,” the man explained to the confused looking Myfanwy and Robert. “I swear, once a week she tries a bit where she dresses as a character from a show and tries to do what she thinks are character-inspired pick up lines all night. It's bloody adorable but confusing as hell to the customers.”

“Are we going to a comedy club?” Myfanwy whispered in Robert’s ear.

“Umm no…” Robert repliedwith a laugh. “Nothing like that at all”

“Tiff’s a God damn amazing gardener and artist and but a shite comedian. Bless her.” The lumbersexual lift operator continued on, ignoring them for the most part, far too involved in describing all the wonderful things about his wife “It’s all her work upstairs. She is a genius. She did this one thing this one time with bamboo-”

***

Robert had a smile on his face as they rode towards the roof and the man rattled on. Robert half tuned him out, keeping just enough of an eye on him in case of danger, but his mind was working on other things.

She had hesitated when he asked if she trusted them. Gestalt knew she was keeping something from them, that something was bothering her, but they kept hoping that with all the time they were spending (very very intimate wonderful amazing time) together she would finally tell them. Were they supposed to play along? Or ask?

He held her small hand in his. Gestalt did not, as a general rule, date. They had marks. They had flings. They had fun. They did not date. They did not get serious. Their very nature -- who and what they were -- was hard for even those who knew them best to grasp. If they were honest, Gestalt wasn’t 100% sure how it would even work, or what they wanted. They had never been given a chance to really think about it. But one thing had been clear for years.

They wanted Myfanwy Thomas. They just didn’t know how it was supposed to work.

_Was this a bad idea? Was I not supposed to take her on a date? Is this -- was I supposed to ask first? I was supposed to ask first wasn’t I? _Gestalt thought. _Too late now. Should I have gotten her a gift for this? Flowers? Was the candy thing a hint? Lingerie? Well actually…_

The lift came to a stop and lumbersexual Lift Operator (who had still not introduced himself, and therefore would probably be forever remembered as either the lumbersexual Lift Operator or Tiffs Husband) began to maneuver the door open.

Here we are then, hope you both enjoy The Night Lights Bar experience, remember, we are open for the next three weeks before we tear down and move on. Tell your friends!” the man said with the air of someone who was very excited and proud of their endeavor. As Myfanwy and Robert stepped out he repeated, “Have fun you two! Try the S’Mores!” and then he set about closing the lift behind them.

“Does this kidnapping meet with your expectations Thomas?” Gestalt said in Robert’s smoothest voice as he led her through a large arc of greenery.

_Yes, I am super smooth. _Gestalt thought_ Robert was perfect for this mission, wait, date… I meant date_

Myfanwy finally got a full look at the venue and her jaw dropped a little. “Gestalt, wow, it’s gorgeous!”

The rooftop had been transformed into a wild garden oasis: The entire place was a kind of temporary greenhouse with clear retractable ceiling panels and well-placed heating lamps. Lush greenery and short hedges lined the booths, bar and tables. The floor was covered with moss and flat pavers. Several small fire pits were lit with patrons roasting marshmallows over them, or curled up under bar-provided blankets. Drinks with dry ice were carried by to give an air of whimsy, and classic drinks served in copper cups and heavy wooden mugs were handed out. A smaller version of a popular food trailer was serving snacks to order. A live band played non-intrusive music over on a corner stage. Cozy outdoor furniture was scattered about in warm colors and the entire place was low-lit seeming like a small escape from the city below. The rain only added to the ambiance.

Gestalt was torn between being very pleased with Myfanwy’s positive response and being preoccupied with automatically clocking and doing a threat assessment of the crowd. 

The biggest potential threat seemed to be the group of 4 women in large brimmed felt hats over by a fire pit to the Southwest side. They were dressed in the trappings of social media ‘influencers’ instead of for the weather, were snapping more photos of the food than eating it and were very drunk. The high threat-level was based on the potential to be annoying and the fact that they seemed to be taking very precarious photos with sharp pointy marshmallow-encrusted sticks.

The least threatening was the couple who seemed to be on a date but who had not bothered to look up from their phones. 

“You’re assessing them all for danger aren’t you?” Myfanwy whispered to Gestalt as they went towards the private table that matched their card number. “Let me guess… Influencers with the pointy sticks are the greatest threats?”Gestalt was a bit pleased Myfanwy had used at least a bit of her Checquy training to assess the area, but was embarrassed she had noticed them scanning the roof.

“What? I have no idea what you mean.” Gestalt tried to play it cool.

Myfanwy raised an eyebrow as they reached the cozy corner table that matched their number. Robert gestured for her to sit on the cushioned bench first then followed suit.

“Ok fine, you’re right. Good job on the assessments by the way. I’m very proud” Robert slung his arm around her shoulder and gave her a playful kiss on the cheek leaving his arm there. Gestalt had made sure their table was situated so that there was no one behind them, was private enough that they could enjoy each others company, but also gave him a clear line of sight to the exit and entrance. Plus, Gestalt had requested a table with a fire pit because fire was romantic right?Surely they got bonus points for that.

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “Don’t sound so surprised Gestalt. I did have some of the same training as you even if I did start later. But feel free to tell me I’m right whenever possible” She reached forward for the menu that sat next to them on the bench.

“You managed to download the entire layout of this place before we came and memorized it?” she teased while still looking at the menu.

“Maybe…”

Myfanwy just laughed.

Robert sighed. “I’m just used to having at least one other set of eyes. I wanted to be prepared.”

They really should have waited for this date until they had another body here. One body to go on the date, and one to deal with any potential threats. But they honestly didn’t know when they would have anything close to another night off. The Checquy wasn’t exactly renowned for encouraging work/life balance and lately they had been sending all for of Gestalts bodies all over the UK. They had really wanted to take her here after they saw the website, and it was only here for another few weeks. They didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

Myfanwy reached up to the arm around her shoulder and squeezed Roberts hand looking over at them. “Im glad we came. Thank you for kidnapping me.”

Gestalt smiled relaxing a bit.

“Would it make you feel less stressed if I told you I remembered the taser you gave me?”

Gestalt perked up “You remember the taser?”

Myfanwy paused and looked back down at the menu, hedging.

“Well, if I TOLD you that, would you feel better?”

Robert groaned and leaned their head back“Myf, it doesn’t work if you don’t carry it! And we really have to make that self-defense and work-out practice a regular part of your routine OK?” he waved to the waiter that they were ready to order drinks.

“If it ends like the last few times then let’s get it on the schedule” Myfanwy muttered.

“We need to actually work-out and work on self-defense Myf” Robert whispered in her ear.

“Four Gestalt bodies and just one of me. It IS an actual workout Gestalt”

***

Gestalt chickened out on bringing up the talk.

But other than that, the first date had gone just as perfectly as they had planned.

If you could call it a first date when one hadn’t exactly asked the other person if it was a date. And when the people in question had over a decade of lingering looks, shared trauma, and now over 2 weeks of fooling around whenever possible.

But as Myfanwy kept herself tucked under Robert’s arm holding her spiked hot chocolate, Gestalt didn’t want to broach the subject. They just wanted to sit in a weird little roof top garden bar with Myfanwy Thomas and have a god damn date. They wanted to enjoy their s’mores and whiskey cider with Myfanwy Thomas whispering sweet things in their ear in between kisses and snacks; not ask Rook Thomas how she would feel about telling their secret government bosses about their current sexual relations and oh yes, how did she actually feel about them, could she please describe those emotions on a scale from 1-10, and then they are sure there are forms they need to fill out in triplicate.

The pair sat close together, occasionally talking, sometimes just quietly listening to the music or enjoying being able to be near one another after a few days apart.The way Myfanwy kept touching them so casually felt so right. How could someone just touching your palm and drawing circles on it make your entire body shiver? Her hand on their thigh, when her body brushed against theirs as she leaned across them to grab another marshmallow, when, even her cheek resting on their shoulder. And would it have been rude to grab her hand and hold it there when she had brushed it through Roberts hair to remove a leaf? Just lean into the touch? That would have been weird right?

As it neared 11, Gestalt asked if she was ready to go home, claiming they didn’t want her turning into a pumpkin at midnight and they both did have work in the morning. Thank God she said yes because Gestalt knew that any more little touches and they were going to start snogging her in a very inappropriate way in public. They only had so much god damn self-control and had it had been ebbing away ever since she had mentioned short flimsy pajamas during the walk over.

But Gestalt told themselves that they would be good. They would behave. It was late. This was a first date, well, they were pretty sure it was anyways, and they had NOT achieved their goal of talking about things. So when they reached her flat Gestalt had every intention of giving her a kiss at the door and heading back home to take care of things with this body and possibly wake the rest of their bodies up and take care of things a few more times.

And that is exactly what they did… mostly.

They walked her to her door holding her hand and they gave her a kiss.

And then that kiss led to a second kiss.

And a third.

And then there were some very insistent hands and then…

They gave themselves credit for trying.

_Nothing ever goes to plan with Myfanwy Thomas,_ Gestalt thought as Robert and Myfanwy nearly fell into her flat. She had been trying to multitask kissing him while unlocking the door and Robert was trying to figure out how to take off both their coats at the same time AND keep kissing her. Myfanwy had to break away to hit the alarm code and barely had time before Robert was pulling her back into his arms.

_Why didn’t I just throw her over my shoulder and drag her in here earlier? Oh yes, because…things? _Gestalt thought.

Gestalt was kicking the door shut behind them, dropping the umbrella, trying to maintain contact AND hang Roberts coat up (they needed at least one more body here. One to fuck and one to help put things away. Maybe a third help to more of the first part. Really, how did everyone else function with just one?) all while Myfanwy was trying to undo their belt buckle and kick off her own shoes. Both of them were laughing and fumbling around trying to do too many things at once.

“I think I’ve gotten spoiled by all the extra hands” Myfanwy whispered as she almost bonked heads with Robert after they both stopped so they could remove their shoes. The flat was mostly dark save for a table lamp and the city lights twinkling through the shades.

Robert finally managed to pull her sweater off and triumphantly tossed it aside . He then picked her up so her legs were wrapped around him and began kissing her neck. 

“Bed?” Robert asked in between kisses.

“Sofa,” Myfanwy replied and tried to shift in his arms to grind along the hard length she now felt right up against her.

At that Gestalt gave her a playful smack on the bottom which made her yelp laugh. “Impatient” he growled

“Mmhmm” Myfanwy replied with a sigh, enjoying the raspy brush of the 5 o’clock shadow that tickled along her neck as Gestalt kissed a path down and around.Her sigh was cut off when Robert deposited her on the mustard yellow sofa with a bit more thunk then he meant to.

“Oumf!” she yelped before laughing again.

Robert winced. “Sorry. I think we need to get you a sofa with more cushion”

“Come here and make it better please” she sat up still smiling, and grabbed the loops of his jeans tugging him towards her. His belt and to jeans were both undone and he had lost his button-down with the jacket . Smiling again Robert went willingly to his knees. He was quite happy to be kneeling between her legs getting a nice view of her, even if she was still mostly dressed. Gestalt admired the simple black cotton demi-bra Myf wore. It was nice, but secretly they wanted to see their girl in something expensive and not at all practical.

They personally stuck to more plain boxers, simple cotton underwear and plain t-shirt or sports bras out of habit and utility. But Gestalt secretly loved buying and wearing fancy lingerie and underclothes for all of their bodies. It was an indulgence not even Myfanwy knew about, and they had amassed a small but expensive collection they rarely got a chance to break out. 

They made a mental note to put some of that drive into buying some for Myfanwy. She would look stunning into some barely-there lingerie, or something with lots of straps and laces for them to take off of her. In lace or silks or leather and… their body reacted just thinking about it and their eyes took on a wicked look, especially thinking of having Eliza taking her to acertain store to ‘try’ things on together.

Gestalt moved forward from his position and pushed her to lean back against the sofa. Their eyes meeting hers as they trailed Roberts fingers over her torso and down to her jeans, skimming finger tips along the band. Myfanwy bit her lip, lifting her hips to help as they removed them, leaving her in just under black cotton underwear.

“You’re gorgeous Myf” Robert whispered huskily leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead, then the left of her mouth, the right, and then slowly, working his way down to her jaw, her neck, collar bones, breast bone down and down… all the while his long strong fingers began to run up and down the tops and insides of her thighs. She took a deep breath, her legs falling open for him as he kissed, and stroked, almost worshipful. She felt him begin to run an index finger over the outside of her underwear, so soft she almost thrust her hips to create more pressure. She could feel herself getting wet in anticipation. And she had to fight not to close her eyes. Instead she kept her eyes on his as he kissed her and moved lower.

“What do you want?” Robert asked. Myfanwy let her head fall back as he stroked just a bit harder, but just… not right there his other hand tracing the inside of her thigh, right on the edge of the elastic of her underwear.

“I…” she gasped as he became level with her core and began to kiss her inner thighs. Both the smooth and scarred parts. Gestalt always made a point of kissing her there. Part of her had worried, the first few times, about Gestalt being so up close and personal with the marred flesh, especially when they had the lights on. But each time Gestalts reverent touch, their lips on her skin, their tongue against her, their breath on the patchwork of lines did a little more to ease her. For a cold moment her mind slid to the little blue box, haphazardly tucked in her underwear drawer with the letters. If she had used it… they would have seen. She felt her body about to stiffen but then at the same moment Gestalt moved the cloth of her underwear aside and she felt Roberts warm breath on her and a long stroke of his tongue. It was enough to bring her back to the here and now.

“Is this it?”Robert asked softly.

“Yes!” she replied as she felt his tongue lick her folds as one hand finally stopped circling around her clit and began to circle on it.

Gestalt stopped for just a moment, causing her to groan, but when Myfanwy realized it was just so they could finish divesting her of her underwear, she lifted her hips to help.

Gestalt wasted no time flinging the cotton aside and returning between Myfanwy's thighs, pulling her legs up and over their shoulders, then using both hands to hold her open so they could gain more access to her. Myfanwy was only too happy to move wherever Gestalt put her as they positioned her closer to their mouth and began to eat her out as if they were starving.

Myfanwy was not sure if she was swearing or praying at that point. One hand was buried in Robert’s blonde hair encouraging them, the other clutching at the sofa cushion hard enough to potentially rip the fabric. The one light that had been left on flickered.

Gestalt rolled their eyes up to look at her, a gleam in them, they were hard in their jeans, almost uncomfortably so, but damn this was amazing to watch. They would do this for as long as she would let them. Over and over if they could. They loved that they could make her feel this good. They hummed a bit, sucked with just the right amount of pressure on her clit. Slowly they slipping in two fingers, pumping them and hooking them at just the right… there it was… her low moan and the sudden spasms let them know they had found the right rhythm and spot.

As she began to come apart, crying out their name and gripping Robert’s hair, Gestalt almost swore against her, all of their bodies stirring awake now. How was it that even just making her cum made them feel like they were getting to climax too? They felt their own hips shifting and bucking almost in response to her movements.

Robert kept licking, more gently now, as she finally came down from it, body twitching, little gasps at every flick of their tongue, and as Robert withdrew their fingers Myfanwy gave one last jerk and shudder.

Robert was leaving light kisses along her thighs again as Myfanwy slowly came back to herself. Gestalt grinned up at her as she ran her hands through his hair and then stroked his cheek. He was about to wipe his hand discreetly on his jeans when Myfanwy gently took his wrist in her left hand. Robert raised an eyebrow, then his gaze darkened and he straightened up as Myfanwy brought his hand up to her lips and she began to suck on his fingers.

Gestalt felt their eyes close and a deep shuddering breath pass their lips.Elsewhere three blondes rolled over onto their backs, with a gasp, left hands gripping the sheets, right hands flat on the bed as the sensation of Myfanwy's hot mouth played on the fingers of Robert’s right hand.

Roberts eyes opened meeting with Myfanwy's, her gaze holding him paralyzed.

_No more waiting_ was the thought that pinged through Gestalts brain. They needed to be with her/kissing her/on top of her/in her/fucking her/making love to her/everything with her.

Now.

Right now.

It was a matter of moments before they had removed their hand from her mouth and were kissing her, rough and desperate. Like hunger roaring up, a thirst needing to be quenched. Taking a moment away from her lips when Myfanwy's insistent hands tugged at the hem of his shirt and he had to draw back to remove it.

Kissing her, being kissed back, hearing her asking them to please…

“Please Gestalt…” her hands were pushing their pants off their hips. It was a skill to be able to stay hovering over her and remove Roberts pants and boxer briefs at the same time but Gestalt managed it. They settled themselves, hard, thick, and ready between her thighs. They gasped as they felt her, slick and waiting for them. Hot and ready.

Gestalt wasn’t so lost (nearly there) as to forget to grab the condom before they removed their pants, and they undid the foil packet. Myfanwy took the latex ring from them and carefully slid it down, kissing them and sucking their lower lip as she did. Gestalt let out a soft hiss from four bodies separated by miles.

“You good?” Myfanwy asked with a lusty grin on her face.

Robert nodded with a smile to match.

“Fuck yes,” the three other bodies said aloud what Gestalt was thinking, bodies bowing, in unison as Robert slowly began to enter Myfanwy.

Myfanwy gasped, her body still sensitive from her orgasm earlier as Robert slowly began to rock his hips against her. She wrapped one hand behind his neck the other moving to his hips gripping and encouraging him.

She pulled his face closer to hers and whispered in his ear before biting down on the lobe “harder.”

Gestalt groaned and complied.

They were trying to make it last. Thinking of maths. Concentrating. Trying. To. Make. It.Last.

But she was writhing under them. Meeting them thrust for thrust. She had lifted one leg and hooked it high up on their hip and when she had whispered, “harder,” it was taking everything in them not to just…

They wanted her to finish with them. Close. They were close. They could feel she was close too. They felt her clenching and her back bending, her body almost felt like it was vibrating in time with the flickering lamp. She buried her head in the crook of their shoulder sucking… They managed to lean on the backing of the sofa and maneuver one arm so they could just reach…

Myfanwy felt them shift, pounding faster, and then their arm moved and their hand… fuck they were touching her clit and stroking it as they… oh sweet.

She dropped her head back, arching her body and gasped their name as the orgasm took her. She felt Gestalt shuddering as they buried their face in her shoulder, heard them shout her name and climax. They pumped into her, swearing, trying not to collapse on her. And she held them, both still shaking in the aftershocks, not hearing the table lamp’s lightbulb pop.

With a groan, trying to take care not to crush her on the sofa Robert pushed up slightly looking at a softly smiling and very satiated Myfanwy under them.

“What?” Robert asked curiously rising an eye brow.

There was a pause.

“Stay the night?”

Robert’s face broke into a grin at the request, a grin that Gestalt didn’t try for one moment to compartmentalize.

And they kissed her again.

***

Myfanwy was sleeping quite peacefully curled up half onto Robert's chest, using him as a kind of body pillow, her head on his chest, a leg and arm thrown over him. Gestalt had to admit, they felt incredibly peaceful having her soft body on top of them. Gestalt always had Robert sleep on their back and Myfanwy's body fit well against their long slender frame in thisposition.

They had moved to the bed shortly after she had asked them to stay the night, but not before folding their clothes on a chair as was their habit. Something Myfanwy told them she found both amusing and attractive.

It was a smart choice, because as fun as the sofa had been it was not the best place to sleep one body let alone two.

True, they much preferred their own bed but they would jump at any chance to be in her bed. Their own bed, however, was much more comfortable they decided AND unlike this one it could fit Myfanwy and all four of their bodies. Well, maybe they could eventually look into getting a slightly bigger one if it became a habit…

It was with a jolt that Gestalt realized they hadn’t had Myfanwy sleep at their place yet. Also… they hadn’t actually spent an entire night at HER place either. How had they missed that? Had she noticed? They had slept together sure, but Gestalt had never been able to have even one of their bodies spend the entire night there. And come to think of it, things had been so busy all four of their bodies hadn’t had an opportunity to all be there with her either.

They vaguely recalled her mentioning something along those lines right before all of Gestalt had been sent out of town. But they had missed it.

What else where they missing? Roberts hands ran up and down Myfanwy's spine. She was so distracting. They were off their game. She had always thrown them off, but it hadn’t been like this before. They would have to be more careful, take more care. Take more care of her.

She was muttering in her sleep, lips against his chest. It was adorable and they grinned down at her wondering what she was dreaming of. Of them maybe? 

“Don’t wanna go,” she whispered once her forehead creased. Robert looked down curiously. She must be dreaming about something very serious.

“You don’t have to go” Robert said softly stroking her hair with their other hand.

“I can’t stop it” a dreaming Myfanwy said in a worried tone and then muttered something they couldn’t hear before she fell back into a deeper sleep. A confused look crossed Roberts face but then faded. It was just a dream, could be about anything. Nothing to worry about.

Robert hummed to themselves and looked up at the ceiling. The rest of Gestalt was satisfied but back asleep. Gestalt was content to keep Robert awake and lay there with Myfanwy in their arms. Gestalt was making plans. They were going to start buying her flowers. She had always liked fresh flowers, even when they were younger. Hadn’t she mentioned to Teddy a few months ago how she kept meaning to make a habit of it but it always slipped her mind?

And presents. They would have to ask Ingrid for ideas.

Dinners! They were going to take her out to some actual dinner dates. Places like tonight where they didn’t talk about work. And a trip somewhere out of the city. Romantic, secluded, very large bed, maybe with a hot tub.What’s the use of having four bodies if you can’t sneak one or two of them away with your girlfriend for the weekend?

Which again brought up the question of was Myfanwy Thomas their girlfriend? Robert looked down at the sleeping woman in their arms and sighed. They did need to talk to her about this.

Gestalt had finally that resting this body for a few hours was a solid plan, and was snuggling down to sleep and ignore their problems for a few more hours when the sound of a cell phone jolted both them and Myfanwy up.

Well, Myfanwy jolted up as much as she could being tangled in sheets and held in one pair of Gestalt arms hindering her jolting ability.

“Wha..you or me?” she asked.

Robert grimaced. “You. My calls are being forwarded to Teddys phone.”

Myfanwy groaned and flopped back down. “Only work would call this early and it could be an issue of national security? Or maybe it’s just a telemarketer?” she mumbled the last part hopefully.

Robert nodded and poked her side and kissed her forehead. “I think you left it in the living room”

“I don’t suppose you are also getting this call and can just have Teddy deal with it and tell them you will somehow loop me in?”

Robert shook his head sadly.

With a sigh Myfanwy rolled out of bed, still naked, to go get her phone.

Robert tilted his head to admire the view, and Myfanwy rolled her eyes as she caught him in the act. To spite him, she grabbed a robe off the back of a chair before she dashed out the bedroom door.

“It was a nice view!” Gestalt defended themselves.

“Shhh. And I’ll get us some waters” she called back. Gestalt could hear her picking up the pace to find her phone and swearing once when she finally got it.

“This is Rook Thomas, its 2:25 AM, what’s on fire?”

Once Robert was sure she was well in the other room, and heard her in the kitchen area he quietly and quickly got out of bed and opened the closet. Perfect time to check for those sizes.

Careful to be quiet, still listening for footsteps and the soft sound of Myfanwy in the kitchen they smiled at the intensely well organized closet. It reminded them of their days as roommates at Glengrove.

They knew the first drawer would have her bras and underwear because they of them had designed the perfect organizational system for her and Eliza’s clothes back at Glengrove. Gestalt still used it for all their closets and it seemed Myfanwy did as well.

“Jackpot” Robert said opening the drawer and flipping the first two bras over for size followed by two sets of underwear. They were putting things back when they saw it.

A blue box.

THE blue metal box.

“Fuck”

Their other bodies woke up.

They knew she still had it, they had always known, but it was still hard to see it. They hadn’t seen it in years, and hadn’t been meant to see it then either. They knew what was in it. They HATED that box. But worse than that was what they spied underneath it.

A cream colored envelope. They saw half the address but that was all they needed to see. Because they knew the name. They knew the address. The one that as of four years ago they weren’t allowed to go within 100 meters of by direct order of the King.

_Prick deserved it_ they thought, clenching their fist, briefly flashing back to that night.

Elsewhere Teddy rolled on their side gnawing their nail, Eliza had sat up arms around her legs head down, hands laced, and Alex was a mirror of Teddy. They suddenly wished once again they had all of their bodies in once place. They needed to be whole right now. They suddenly felt scattered and confused.

They hurt. It hurt them seeing this. Why did she have the box? Why did she have a letter? Why was she writing him? 

They closed the drawer.

***

“Well, that’s going to be a complete mess when I get in. Turns out there is another issue with some, hey, what are you doing?” Myfanwy had come back in holding two glasses of water, her robe only half tied shut, to find Robert sitting on the edge of the bed, jeans on, pulling his t-shirt on over his head.

“I shouldn’t have stayed, there are things I should have sorted before coming over that really need to be taken care of before the local team gets their hands on it.” Robert said in a monotone, his back to her as he walked over to where his button-down shirt was folded neatly on a chair. It was, of course, total bull shit. But since Myfanwy pretty much left the field agent side of things to Gestalt, she would hopefully never figure that out.

“Oh, um, ok?” As Myfanwy put the glasses down on the cabinets under the window, her skin was prickling with nerves. This felt wrong. “You’re just…going? The rest of you can’t handle it or you and I can’t deal with it in the office later?”

“Yeah, turns out, I left a lot of loose ends trying to get back to London so fast. I just got carried away. Should never have fallen asleep” Robert calmly said the lies, still not turning to face her as they twisted in their hands. The urge to bite their nail was strong.

Myfanwy knew that tone of voice. It was the cold Gestalt. The emotionless Gestalt. The all-business Gestalt.

Not her Gestalt.

She walked up and wrapped her arms around their torso from behind. Robert stopped moving, their arms fell to their sides, their shoulders slumped.

“For an agent of the Checquy… your lies at almost 3 AM suck”

They stood that way for a moment, neither saying anything else.

“Maybe it can wait a few hours,” Robert finally mumbled.

Myfanwy lay her cheek against his back. 

Robert put the button-down back down and turned to face her. Her arms were still around them and Gestalt wrapped his arms around her in return.

“The ‘loose ends’ can wait, or whatever it is that’s actually bothering you can wait?” She said looking up at him.

“Both.” Gestalt decided that for now, they could wait.

Myfanwy decided not to push, only nodded. After all, she had secrets she was keeping too. She leaned up on tip-toes and kissed his cheek.

Robert let Myfanwy peel his shirt back off and undo his jeans.

Robert finished undressing as Myfanwy slipped off her robe. Both crawled back under the covers, returning to the same positions as before: Robert on his back and Myfanwy on her side, curled up half on top of them.

Myfanwy said nothing as Gestalt wrapped their arms around her, holding her as if SHE was one who had almost bolted and not the other way around.

“I missed you this week” Myfanwy finally said into the dark and silence.

“Same” Gestalt agreed.

“We’ll talk in the morning?”

“Mmhmm. We have plenty of time” Gestalt said softly kissing her hair.

Myfanwy thought of the letter she had to mail tomorrow, all the checklists in her head and all lies she was going to have to tell to complete them, and how she felt like she was running out of time to do it all… and she said nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to JLKnox for being the best beta in the gorram verse. You are the wind beneath my fucking lack of grammar knowledge wings. Thank you for helping me not write accidental creepy stuff and for pointing out I wrote the wrong kind of underwear for Gestalt. You are right. They would never wear tighty whiteys and that was totally a typo.


	6. Out of Town Treats: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myfanwy attempts to sneak out of town to procure some items without telling anyone. Gestalt isn’t pleased at her lack of security measures. Angry angsty smut ahead. Two part chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for explicit smutty smut scenes.

Countdown Clock: 100 Days

They should be happy. They should be walking on clouds. Everything should be rainbows and unicorns and whatever else happens when all of one’s bodies are getting thoroughly laid on the regular and the girl you’ve been dreaming about since you were both teenagers is the one you are doing it with.

But it was really starting to confuse them that Myfanwy seemed fine not having the relationship talk; keeping things secret. Add in their little discovery 7 days ago -- the box and letter-- and they were even more antsy. They kept seeing it in their mind. Did she still have the letter? Had she mailed it? Had Bristol written back? Was this a common occurrence? Was she OK? Why wasn’t she talking to them? Did the sex make her feel like she couldn’t confide in them anymore? Because she could. Was she safe? Had they royally screwed things up?

They had sent flowers to her flat. She had liked that. But they had not sent them to her office: too obvious, and they were still unsure if they were  _ together _ together or something else. They purchased 12 different books on relationships and emotions. But only eBooks. No one needed to see Gestalt walking around with them:it would ruin their hard core image.

They had tried to bring up their relationship like one book said to, in a neutral, safe, familiar area on a casual coffee date. But then a bee had flown at them. Since Myf was allergic, Eliza had thrown herself on top of her like a human shield while Teddy had tried to destroy the fuzzy bumbler with a napkin and a spoon. Shooting it, Gestalt decided, would have been overkill. After having a lecture from a barista about how bees needed to be protected and having an embarrassed Myfanwy remind them that she had her epi pen with her and it would have been fine… it just seemed like the wrong time to bring up ‘emotions’.

Basically they were spiraling. 

Gestalt decided to start thinking more like an agent and less like, well, whoever it was they were when they were a happy catastrophe and probably messing things up. They began putting together the clues and things they had dismissed from the past few weeks. It seemed much easier than asking her what was wrong.

There were times lately when Myfanwy would get a far-away anxious look in her eyes. She shut her laptop whenever they walked in the room. A new way she seemed to be taking more and more work items home with her (it wasn’t unusual for all of them to take non-sensitive work home, but lately she seemed to take twice the amount). She had been pulling more files on potential EVA recruits, which she had never done before. And she seemed to be taking more and more wild risks (even with them, it seemed) or having these odd outbursts. They were sure they found her crying in the bathroom. She claimed it was allergies making her eyes puff up and they had believed her at the time, even went out and got her some Benadryl. But now they were fairly sure she had been lying. 

Why did she seemed to be becoming more closed off, when it should have been the opposite? The damned books even said so! 

The books were not helpful.

Also weird discovery of note: she seemed to have started some sort of weird video diary thing, because they were sure they had caught her talking to herself on her camera phone in one of the private board rooms the other day. 

Oh crap, what if it had been a sexy video meant for them and they ruined it? 

All right, that was insane.

She had officially broken their brain.

They had tried to ignore it. Tried to act like things were fine. It felt like the secret honeymoon phase was over and the secret “what the fuck” phase had begun. But after what they had found out last night while Alex and Teddy were settling into a working weekend at the Rookery, they decided they were just in a pissed-off phase. 

Because it was one thing to have a secret relationship at work. But it was another thing for one person in that relationship to secretly plan some sort of trip to Cornwall for god knows what reason without planning proper Checquy level protection. And also, why the hell would she keep an entire trip from them?

What the actual fuck?

***

Myfawny was congratulating herself that her clandestine activities hadn’t triggered any of the Chequy security measures so far. All her training at Glengrove had been kicking in and no one seemed to have any clue about her side-projects.

She had even managed to set up this trip without setting off any alarms. It should be as simple as getting on the train, doing her official business once she got there, and then slipping off to do her personal business after. Hop on the train home the next morning and done.

So what if her workaround for the security detail portion of her travel was a bit dodgy? Or if she had purposely found a way to make sure Gestalt would be otherwise engaged during the 48 hours of her trip and just neglected to tell them anything? What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

So far so good. She deserved a nice hot tea and a pastry for a job well done.

“What the actual fuck, Thomas?”

Myfanwy froze. 

Ok, so maybe she didn’t deserve that pastry.

_ Shit shit shit double shit. _

It was 6 AM. It was far too early for this nonsense.

“Going somewhere?” the voice asked getting closer.

She tried to make a list of how to talk her way out of this.

**Step one:...**

She had nothing.

“Gestalt...” she said wearily. She didn’t even need to turn around to know a sour-faced twin in a tracksuit was behind her. Possibly with a bag so they could follow her around like a hulking blond shadow for the next 48 hours, screwing with her very carefully planned cover.

_ Ok Myfanwy, you can act like you are doing something wrong, or you can act mad because you are a Rook of the Checquy and did nothing wrong--except for the things you did that were sort of wrong… which way will distract them from more? _

“Forget something?” 

Myfanwy turned around. She could almost hear the disappointment of four Gestalt voices at once. She tried not to wince. 

“Toothpaste?” She shifted her bag from one shoulder to the other.

Alex had that patented blank Gestalt expression on their face. Hands shoved deep in black track pant pockets. But no bag. She wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

_ Maybe it would have been nice to have Gestalt all to myself in a hotel room out of town.… _ Part of her was thinking. But only a very very small (loud) part.  _ But not THIS hotel room at this time. But another hotel...stop thinking with libido and think with paranoia and survival skills, Thomas! _

“You do realize we ARE of equal ranks right?” She began “And that I am supposed to plan… things... and am perfectly capable of traveling on my own without your permission?”

Alex walked over and held a hand out for her bag “I’m driving you to Cornwall. You can explain in the car.”

Myfanwy didn’t move, just blinked at them in surprise, not releasing her bag.

“I’m driving,” Alex repeated. “Bag please.”

She mutely handed it to them and Gestalt moved so they were side by side and started guiding her towards the station exit.

“But.. but It’s an extra hour to drive and," Myfanwy protested, “you aren’t going to try and stop me? You aren’t pissed?”

Alex raised an eyebrow “Oh I’m livid. Pretty sure Eliza broke a suspect's nose last night when I found out -- my hand is very sore, by the way. But you are going to have over 4 hours to tell me why you not only kept this whole trip from practically everyone, but why you seem to have purposely set it up while all of me was supposed to be busy or out of the office, and ALSO just happened to do it ALL without arranging for a proper guard detail?”

Mentally, Myfanwy’s checklist for the next 48 hours was rearranging itself as they walked. Gestalt wasn’t even trying to slow their pace so her shorter legs could keep up. “Just Alex, or is the rest of you coming?” she asked.

“What? Alex isn’t enough?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. “For one thing it’s an overnight trip, so do you really want five of us using one tiny Inn bathroom? I lived with Eliza and her hair routine. You are a diva about your hair no matter which body it belongs to. Especially Teddy and Robert.”

Alex guffawed and took her hand,moving more into her space causing her breath to hitch. “Just me. Rest of me is still exactly where they are supposed to be. Though lately I feel like it might take all four of me to watch out for you. Alright?”

Myfanwy nodded, trying to keep her face calm.

Alex nodded back.

“Good. Now then, next time you decide to try and go out of the city without a proper detail I’m assigning Pawn Bitner to you, staying home and just watching the drama from a video feed. With popcorn.”

Myfanwy gave him a look of utter horror “You would never!” 

“Try me.”

****

Myfanwy was silent for the first half of the car ride. She had gone through several different emotions; fear at her initial plans being derailed; shock that Gestalt seemed to be just going with the flow, kind of; and then anger that they had showed up at all.

Myfanwy decided pouting was immature, but better than making excuses for herself like a teenager caught after curfew. She was as much a Rook as Gestalt was, even if they headed different departments. Technically she was just doing her job. There WAS a legit problem that fell under her department. It wasn’t required that she go in person to investigate it, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for her to take a trip under these circumstances.

If it just so happened to also be a place where she could obtain some of the final items to help her get out of the country should she need to run, so be it. The package would be in the drop off location until midnight that night. Now she had to figure out how to get to it without Gestalt noticing. Since they were pissed at her and seemed to think she couldn’t even take a train ride on her own, the chances of her being left alone for any stretch of time seemed doubtful.

“A pawn was going to meet me at the station in Cornwall,” she muttered looking out the window. They had been driving for almost two hours of silent stalemate. “Just so you know.”

Gestalt didn't say anything for a few minutes.

“I didn’t know that,” Alex finally admitted, having the decency to sound slightly guilty. 

“Maybe if you actually took some time to look at the plan I put together for this, instead of jumping to conclusions, you would have seen that I DID file everything according to protocol. Just because I decided to change normal routine and not to bring a guard on the train, and chose not to request a 24-hour security detail didn’t mean I was being a total idiot.”

“Myfanwy, Farrier made it clear when you became Rook that when you travel outside certain city limits on official business-”

“They don’t make YOU take a guard or keep a 24 hour security detail with you when you travel outside the city limits.”

“That’s different and you know it. There’s four of me. And I’m--”

“You’re what? You don’t have some sort of bullet- or kidnap-proof EVA. Just because I won’t use some uncontrollable destructive part of me doesn’t mean I can’t ride a bloody train on my own. It’s something I used to do as a bloody child.” Myfanwy didn’t look at Gestalt. Just kept looking out the window. 

“Didn’t you just come to me asking for help with your self defense?”

Myfanwy mumbled something about stupid blondes and their stupid faces not knowing when to mind their own business that Gestalt couldn’t quite hear, but Alex still smirked. 

“Did Ingrid tell you about my itinerary?” Myfanwy asked. She wouldn’t blame Ingrid, but she wanted to know where Gestalt was getting their intel.

Alex shook his head. “No, I found out on my own. Though Ingrid should have told me.”

“She was doing her job, and that doesn’t include telling you my every move. She actually trusts me, Gestalt. She’s my EA, not your’s. She knows I know what I’m doing. Don’t take this out on her when we get back. I mean it. As we established, someone WAS going to meet me at the station in Cornwall.”

Alex snorted, clearly not thinking that was enough. 

“How are you even here? I know Alex was scheduled to go sort out some local surveillance issues, something about updating some of our cameras in areas with high risk rates or something? In parking garages and blind spots? How did you get out of that? Farrier was very keen on that project staying on schedule. And the rest of you is either in Scotland or were supposed to be working with the Urban Task Force for the weekend.”

Alex shifted uncomfortably in their seat.

“You told on me to Farrier didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement. 

Alex glanced at her “She worries.”

“You both can’t just change how we do our jobs at random! I’m not that important and I’m not a child. Have none of you heard of boundaries?”

_ And this is why I can’t trust you with this memory loss thing, Gestalt. Because you’ll go straight to Farrier. And she could be the one to cause this. Or she’ll convince you I’m crazy and have me locked up. Or both. Unless you are in it together and… Stop it Myfanwy, get out of the paranoia loop. _

“You  _ are _ that important.” Gestalt felt the anger starting to radiate throughout themselves. Eliza was shoving her bag into the overhead bin with such anger and force that one of the pawns nearby was actually starting to sweat, watching her. Robert ripped a button off of his shirt as he was changing back into his civilian clothes in the private airport’s bathroom. Teddy broke the Keurig on the third floor by slamming the top down with too much force. 

“Farrier can’t keep me safe by making choices for me and you can’t keep me safe by following me around or beating the shit out of any threat that comes my way either.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gestalt said through gritted teeth.

“You know exactly what it means.”

Alex looked heavenwards and swore, then swerved to pull over to the side of the road, turning the car off and unbuckling their seatbelt so they could face her. 

“No, Myfanwy, tell me what you mean.”

“It means…” she hadn’t meant to say that last bit. It just spilled out. She had finally read the strange files two nights ago and… and they had not been good.They had left her with a lot of questions. Questions she was not ready to bring up now.

There was no good way to play this. She unbuckled her own seat belt and finally faced Gestalt, trying to take a deep breath.

“It means I know what happened four years ago Gestalt.”

Silence

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” She asked.

Alex was quiet. Gestalt found all a pit of discomfort growing in all four of their bodies. 

_ Shit shit shit _ . How did she find out? She wasn’t supposed to ever find out.  _ Avoidance, deflect, change the subject, turn it around.  _

“Why can’t you just let things lie? You had to go and take a little trip down memory lane? Why are you digging around in the past? Why do you cling to and go looking for things that hurt you? Is this why you wrote him a letter?”

Myfanwy's jaw dropped. 

Gestalt had not meant to blurt that last part out. 

How two people who worked for a secret government agency and kept so many things close to the vest could simultaneously be such colossal fuck-ups at keeping their mouths shut was a giant mystery. 

“How did you--were you going through my things? Why the FUCK would you do that? Do you have any idea how messed up that is?”

Now it was Gestalt’s turn to look guilty.

“I… I was trying to find your size so I could get you a gift,” Gestalt said through gritted teeth. 

Myfanwy snorted in disbelief. “Right, uh-huh. That’s totally plausible. You just happen to go through my underwear drawer and…” she stopped. She realized when and where they must have seen it.

She closed her eyes. 

7 days ago. When Robert came over and then almost left…this also explained the past few days of awkwardness.

The letter had been in her drawer. Under the box. The box…

Gestalt could see her putting it together. 

“I only saw a glimpse of it,” Gestalt said, flatly, “and I thought to myself, no way would Myfanwy actually be breaking the direct order not to communicate with Bristol, but then again--”

“It’s not about the LETTER Gestalt!”

Then they were arguing louder, almost overtop of each other only half-hearing what the other was saying.

“It is so about the fucking letter! There is a direct order of no communication and you KNOW he’s not good for your mental health, right? You have to know that! He never was and still even after all these years...” 

“You had no right -- no right-- to go through my things, and no right to judge me for this. You have no idea why I am doing this or what’s really going on--”

“Because you won’t talk to me!” Gestalt finally shouted.

“FINE!” Myfanwy yelled back “You want to know why I wrote the letter? FINE!”

_ Lie lie lie lie, _ the words sang in her head along with the words:  _ tell the truth.  _

“Forever ago, a counselor told me to write a letter for closure… because I never… and I just… I felt ready to write one. And so I did. And now it’s gone. It was private, it wasn’t meant for you or anyone else to see. You should never have invaded my privacy like that. That was none of your business. This was for me.”

The best lies have a bit of truth. She was getting very good at lying to everyone, including to herself. 

Gestalt paused. 

It sounded… plausible. But so many things didn’t make sense. 

“Does this mean you’re going to throw away the birds?” Gestalt asked quietly.

Myfanwy's face shuttered, her eyes glancing away, unable to meet theirs. Gestalt took that as her answer and gripped the steering wheel.

“Why can’t you let it go? Let him go. Please! Stop torturing yourself...”

_ Stop torturing me, _ Gestalt was desperate to say.  _ I hurt when you do these things to yourself. It kills me that I can’t help you. Let me help get rid of the hurt! Let me in.  _

“It’s not that easy,” she said softly.

“It is--”

“You don’t understand--”

“I was there! I saw, I watched it. We both had fucked-up things happen at Glengrove, so if there is anyone you should be able to trust with this shit it’s me! If there is anyone that knows how to move past this, it’s someone else whose been there,” Gestalt pleaded. “Talk to me or talk to someone, anything to just let it go and move forward.” 

Gestalt was struggling to keep themselves together. Their bodies felt like they were in chaos. A cold determination was threading through their anger as they struggled to stay on each separate task. Fighting to not start shouting and reacting in every body.

Myfanwy ground her teeth.

“Talk to you? How can I talk to you about it when it turns out you don’t trust me? And did you ‘move forward’ when you went to his shop and beat the living shit out of him four years ago?”

Gestalt turned away and faced the steering wheel again, eyes closed.

“Four years ago, Gestalt,” Myfanwy repeated “Not when it was happening, not right after, hell, not even right after I moved to London and you and I started working together as Pawns… but pretty damn recently. Why did you go down there and beat the shit out of him then, of all times?”

“Let it go, Myfanwy,” Alex’s face had morphed into a very good copy of Teddy’s angry one. Despite being identical, it looked almost alien combined with the track suit and curly hair.

“Not as long as you keep telling me to get over things,”

“Can’t you please just forget about it? God I wish I could erase it from your memory so it was like it never happened,”

Myfanwy sat back against the window as if he had slapped her. Her whole body became rigid, like a deer caught in the headlights, her face drained of color.

“Don’t say that.” She whispered.

“Why not? If we could just forget and just move past--”

“Just… because!” she yelled, causing them to jump and look at her. She looked… was she afraid? Why did she look so afraid?

Ok, they needed… they couldn't see her like this. It was, they didn’t want to be the reason she was afraid like that. It was… that was never their intention.

So they started talking.

“I did it because he deserved it. Because I--” 

_ We got drunk two weeks before. I had just moved into the penthouse and you decided we needed to use the pool on my roof and go swimming in our underwear. I saw your scars for the first time in years, and realized how many more of them there were since Glengrove. I only saw for a second before you got self-conscious and made sure I never got a chance to see them again that night or ever again. You were always so good at hiding--emotionally and physically. I should have kissed you then. Should have told you it was fine. Showed you it was fine. That I wanted you then. Instead… instead I made a plan to make him hurt.  _

“I had just been promoted to Rook,” Alex closed his eyes remembering, speaking slowly as if the memory hurt. “We happened to have an operation in the part of town where he works now. And I ran into him when part of me was leaving for the night,”

_ Lies.  _ Gestalt thought,  _ You had all four of your bodies on the lookout. Four bodies to provide a solid beating, a cover story, and a threat. Four bodies and a new high-powered job to arrange just the right location. You had your job for less than a month and you used your power to set everything up and Linda knew it before you even finished cleaning the blood off all your hands.  _

“I saw him, I got… angry. It got away from me.”

Myfanwy shook her head. She didn’t believe them. It was a flimsy cover story. If you didn’t know everything, you might just believe it. But if you knew anything about Gestalt and how much control they had it was laughable to think they would lose control like that. They had a temper, it was legendary. But they would never be as sloppy as all that. 

“Guess I’m not the only one Linda covers for,” Myfanwy said bitterly. She had not expected to find those documents when she was digging. But those files, the photos… and if she had only seen the redacted images and information she didn’t want to know what was in the rest of them.

Gestalt narrowed their eyes.

“She covered for me that ONE time, but, Myfanwy, how many times has she covered for you? Fixed things so your didn’t have to leave your comfort zone or own up to your issues? And this, this isn’t covering for you. This is making sure you don't get yourself killed or kidnapped. You don’t seem to take your own safety seriously. Myfanwy, you can’t protect yourself, and you won’t really learn how.” Their voice,and blood pressure, was rising 

“And lately it’s been like you care even less. I don’t know what’s going on with you. You’re important to the Checquy, you know classified information, and you don’t take your own own bloody safety seriously,”

_ You’re too important to me, goddamn it, why can’t you see that? _ Gestalt thought.

Myfanwy let out a bitter laugh, thinking of the letters tucked into her jacket pocket and her bag, about how a good chunk of her risks lately just involved jumping Gestalt’s bones. “You have no idea how serious I take my safety, Rook Gestalt.” She said their title sarcastically before continuing.

“In case you forgot, risk assessment is part of my goddamn job and I’m actually really good at it,” she said with an edge to her voice, “just because you don’t trust me--”

“And in case YOU forgot, Rook Thomas,” Gestalt’s voice was equally acidic, “it’s part of my job to make sure you’re kept alive, safe and not kidnapped by some bloody vultures. And personally, even if it wasn’t part of the job, I still would have been at that station because you don’t seem to take goddamn care of yourself! You won’t ask for help, you won’t trust anyone.”

“Trust is a two way FUCKING street, Gestalt!!”

They both began yelling accusations about trust and safety at each other while leaning closer and closer. 

And then they were kissing.

It was hard and rough, desperate hands pulling on hair and then on clothes. Myfanwy half-ripping the zipper off of Alex’s track jacket while he kissed her mouth, her jaw, neck, her ear, all while pulling her blouse out of her skirt’s waistband. Hands were slipping under shirts, lips were being bruised, bodies hungrily being drawn to each other in the SUV’s front seats.

“Fuck… Fuck…” Alex was whispering, and all of Gestalt was thinking as they tried to situate themselves. Robert and Eliza had both boarded the private plane headed back to London by this point and were seated in their own row. Eliza automatically handed one of the two provided pillows to Robert, to put in his lap. Both closed their eyes and tried to remain quiet. 

Gestalt wanted to know how they kept ending up with Teddy in the worst of situations and excused themselves from a meeting with one of the field techs under the excuse of: “One of my bodies is dealing with a shit-ton of information. I have to go upload… things” and then made their way to their adjunct office with a carefully placed folder held in front of them.

In the car, Gestalt was thanking who ever invented their government-grade tinted windows and their GPS which had given them a detour onto fairly empty back roads.

“Fuck,” Alex repeated as Myfanwy bit his lip.

“Not yet,” Myfanwy said, but before Alex could laugh, she was sealing her mouth over his. It took several fumbles before they were able to crawl over the center console to reach the SUV’s spacious back seat.

Myfanwy landed on top of Alex. She had already divested him of his black track jacket and began peeling off his white polo, kissing and licking inches of skin as she went. She allowed him to sit up enough to pull the shirt off before she pushed him back down to lay across the bench seat. She kissed his chest, nipping here and there, running her nails along his sides, making him arch. She had discovered Robert was ticklish there, but that this made both of the twins writhe under her hands. Sure enough, as she looked up through her lashes she saw his blue eyes watching her as she let her tongue flick out once across his now bare nipple. Alex closed their eyes biting their lip. On a plane, Eliza licked her lips, trying not to pant. 

Myfanwy drew the flat nipple into her mouth, lightly rolling it between her teeth, enjoying the way Alex’s hips flexed up at her in response. Feeling the way he was growing noticeably harder in his now tented track pants. After hearing Alex groan once, she released his nipple from her mouth and began to move to the next one, but then he abruptly moved her and sat up. He shifted from laying down to sitting up with her straddling him. He held her close to his body with one arm, his other hand in her hair, kissing her with a demanding force. Her moan caught in his mouth, his tongue traced her lips begging entrance, which she gladly gave. As she did, she briefly remembered last time he used his tongue on her… she started to rock her hips against him with a soft whimper. 

Robert clutched the pillow and leaned his head back. Both he and Eliza each had one hand white knuckling an arm rest.

“Are we still fighting?” she asked, nearly breathless as he pulled away from the kiss to look at her shirt, dealing with the buttons and letting out a frustrated sound. 

_ Really, this was so much fucking easier with multiple bodies to do things, _ Gestalt thought. Alex nodded, finally getting the buttons undone so it hung open. They admired the lacy blue bra she was wearing underneath and the creamy expanse of Myfanwy’s skin.

Alex gave her a signature Alex smirk and met her gaze. 

“Yes, Are you OK with that?”

Myfanwy responded by reaching between them to draw his cock out of his pants, her movements causing all of Gestalt to take a sharp intake of breath. Slowly, using the precum beading at the top of him to lubricate her hand, she began to slide it up and down.Alex kept one hand supporting her back, but slowly trailed their other hand down along the bare skin of her torso. Her skirt had hiked up to her waist in all twisting and rearranging, and Alex skimmed the tops of her thighs. 

All of Gestalt tried to control their breathing as Alex slowly moved his hand up and under Myfanwy’s skirt, feeling the damp patch growing there. They stroked, softly, along the center of the fabric, causing Myf to whimper and scowl at them as she kept her own slow pace. But her gaze didn’t waver from Alex’s, though she couldn’t stop the involuntary way her hips tried to push herself harder onto their hand. 

It was when she brought her hand down from the tip to the base of him and began to gently squeeze in just the way that drove them crazy, that Gestalt finally slipped Alex’s hand under the elastic simultaneously thrusting one finger in while their thumb started to circle her clit. 

“Gestalt…” She gasped, thrusting her hips down and forward, almost losing her hand’s rhythm on Alex’s erect cock. 

It wasn’t when she started to move her hips to meet his hand that truly did Gestalt in. Or when she leaned forward and bit at his earlobe and neck. It was when she removed the hand that held him (they all groaned when she released him) and moved it between her own legs, encouraging them to add a second finger and then returned to gripping him, using some of her own added wetness as lubricant.

“Myfanwy,” Alex groaned. Three other breaths were catching, as bodies strained to remain still, hands in fists, eyes staring at nothing.

They could feel her start to tremble and tighten around their fingers, so they increased the steady pressure and circles of their thumb on her clit, coaxing her on. Enjoying how she cried out as she kissed them, her hand moving in tandem on them. 

“Condom or I swear I’m gonna cum like this Myf,” Alex said through gritted teeth into a kiss on her shoulder. Myf nodded. She was so close--but she wanted him inside her. She made to move. But Alex, keeping his fingers inside of her and careful not to displace her, used his other hand to remove hers from his cock. 

“You first, then together,” he whispered with an almost wicked glint in his eye. He wrapped that arm back around her, and twitched the long fingers inside of her, hitting the sweet spot. 

“FUCK!” Myfanwy yelled bucking, both her hands now going to his shoulders, bracing herself as she moved. Her movements meant she was riding his hand and bringing her body in contact with him. Gestalt leaned back as much as they were able, wishing they had a better view, but enjoying her body’s reaction just the same. They were determined to get her off first. It was a delicious torture trying to hold off -- but worth it. Both were breathing hard as she finally came apart, burying her face in his shoulder to muffle herself as she spasmed and climaxed. 

Shuddering, she collapsed onto him and whimpered just a bit as she felt Alex withdraw his hand gently from her. She sagged slightly into his body, feeling one hand slip up the back of the unbuttoned shirt she was still wearing and stroke her back. 

“Still ok?” Gestalt asked. Myfanwy felt Alex kiss her sweaty neck softly.

“I’ll be more mad if you don’t have a condom somewhere back here,” she mumbled into the side of his throat.

Alex chuckled, and they shifted enough for him to grab for his bag which was conveniently lodged on the floor of the back seat. Myfawny almost snorted a laugh at the fact that Gestalt was arrogant enough to pack condoms for the trip.

She moved up and away as best she could, and watched them roll the condom down. Lifting her eyes to meet his, she shifted forward, her forearms sliding up his shoulders so her arms were wrapped around his neck, hands in his hair drawing him in for a kiss again. Soft, light kisses at first, as she slowly lowered herself onto him. She was still wet, and while Alex had softened a bit in the interim, just the act of starting to slide inside her was all Gestalt needed to harden fully again. It made Alex groan, but they kept their eyes open. The rest of Gestalt’s bodies kept their eyes closed, wanting to only focus on where Alex was and what was happening in the car. 

Being there, inside her, with her.

Myfanwy let them fill her fully, rocking against them with a soft moan. Slowly, she began to move. Gestalt moved their hands to her hips trying not to grip too hard, but then when they increased their pressure Myfanwy gasped and moved faster. She had one hand buried in their hair, tugging on it, the other arm was digging into their shoulder as she struggled to move in the confining space. Again and again they moved. Gestalt needed this to last till she came,but she made it damn near impossible.

Because she felt so good. Perfect. Theirs. Their Myfanwy. Theirs. 

Gestalt was worried Alex wasn’t going to last. They moved her hips harder, faster, needing to see her come apart again, to hear her. They loved how she moved for them, screamed their name, came for them. They wanted her to do it again.

Gestalt and Myfanwy were gasping now, gazes locked as their bodies strained. So close. Gestalt gripped tighter and moved one hand down to the bundle of nerves at her apex and began to circle there. Myfanwy made a noise in the back of her throat. Their lips crashed together, a meeting of desperation and need. Myfanwy came first, screaming her orgasm and their name into Alex’s mouth. Gestalt wasn’t far behind her as Alex climaxed. Hips jerking, both of their bodies shaking, as they clutched at each other as if trying to get as close as two humans could possibly get. 

Shuddering breaths followed as aftershocks crashed over them, each little movement sending a ripple effect of sensations through their overly-sensitive bodies. They sat there for a while, wrapped up in each other, Myfanwy’s head buried in Alex’s shoulder, Alex kissing Myfanwy’s collar bone and sighing into her skin. 

They were very glad Myfanwy had joked about them needing secret condom stashes in every possible sex location as a precaution a few weeks ago. They were even more glad they had taken her joke seriously and done just that. They would have to remember to tell her she was right… once they could remember how to talk again.

***

Awkward wasn't really the right way to describe post-angry-car-sex. It was more like some sort of bizarre calm had passed over them. Both parties were breathing heavily, clinging to each other. Neither one seemed to want to be the first to let go or say anything. Neither was ready to apologize, but neither wanted to stop holding the other one, either. It was when they heard the sound of another car pass them (the first one since they had pulled over) they finally started moving. Tissues were grabbed and used, clothing retrieved, put back on and adjusted as they sat side by side the back seat of the car not talking. 

Gestalt had been able to keep things from getting too embarrassing on all three other fronts but it had been a close one. All three bodies were taking calming breaths as Gestalt tried to collect themselves.

Robert and Eliza were sinking back into the airplane seats, the hands they had clenched around the pillows in their laps. They were finally starting to relax. One pawn walked by on the way from the loo and thought it was odd that Gestalt looked so tense before. Gestalt was supposedly an excellent flyer. Must be something intense going on back at HQ.

Teddy was simply standing in their dark private adjunct office facing the wall. Their forehead and palms on the cold cement wall, eyes closed as if meditating. They slowly turned and stumbled over to the small sofa they kept. Teddy slumped down, boneless and exhausted. Gestalt would let their body have some time to cool off and recalibrate before they went back to work. All three bodies would definitely need some private release time tonight. 

Myfanwy turned and silently pulled Alex’s face to her so she could run her hands through his curls. She was trying to undo the mess she had made of them. Having her fuss over them made Gestalt crack a smile across all four faces. Her lips were pursed as she tried to fix things, there was a particularly stubborn curl on the right side. In response, Alex pushed a lock of her own hair behind her ear. She smiled a very small smile.

As Alex was having his hair adjusted, Eliza, Robert, and Teddy raised their right hands to their hair line, as if they could touch the phantom hand there. 

Once Myfanwy and Alex were situated back in the front, taking the far saner route of getting OUT of the car via doors, and buckled back in, Alex grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. They broke the silence stalemate.

“You better call that pawn that was supposed to meet you at the Station,” Alex said. 

Myfanwy wrinkled her nose “I still can’t believe you didn’t at least CHECK to see if i had set up someone to meet me”

Alex shrugged as he pulled the SUV back onto the road. “When it comes to you, I’ve been kind of going off script. You mess with my head and my professional sensibilities. ”

“Should I be flattered or worried?” She pulled out her phone and hitting the saved contact for the Cornwall headquarters, but her voice was soft.

“Honestly?” Alex cast their eyes over towards her for a moment before returning to the road. “I’m not sure yet.”

Myfanwy was saved from saying anymore more by an answering pawn’s voice.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal thanks for JKnox for all the marvelous beta work and for putting up with my whining. You are a gem.  
Also sorry for the long wait, still finishing up allll the other chapters.  
Writing is hard guys.
> 
> Also, sign the season 2 petition   
https://www.change.org/p/therookstarz-season-2-for-the-rook  
I am surviving on fan vids, gifs, binge rewatches, fanfics and the discord.


	7. Out of Town Treats: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown Clock: 100 Days
> 
> Part 2 of Out of Town Treats. Myfawny decides to take a leap. Gestalt decides to follow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot and Fluff and a drop of Angst. 
> 
> Sign the Petition for season 2 https://www.change.org/p/therookstarz-season-2-for-the-rook

  
  


The situation they found upon arriving Cornwall was similar to the two satiated Rooks: thoroughly fucked.

Turns out the reason Myfanwy had come (the official one at least) was worse than she had originally thought. A Pawn had found discrepancies in the local pension fund. When she brought it up to her superiors they had dismissed it as a clerical error. Insistent that something was wrong, and after months of leg work, the pawn had gone behind her superiors’ backs and managed to get her suspicions to the right people. Myfanwy had thought this was just going to be a small issue of misused or misplaced funds which could be used as a conveniently-timed cover for her trip. In fact, when they arrived and she actually got her hands on the ancient files the poor pawn had been dealing with, she realized it was a giant clusterfuck. The numbers not only did not add up, but there seemed to be an issue leading back years with trails outside the Checquy -- someone had screwed the pooch. 

Fortunately, she had enough power to call in a full Checquy-backed forensic accounting team. She could leave it in their capable hands and head home the next day.

Sofia Allen, the Pawn who discovered the issue, was extremely flustered to have both Rooks there, especially since Myfanwy was known to rarely leave London. She was pleased as punch about the praise and Myfanwy made a note to talk to someone about giving her a promotion, maybe even see if the young woman was keen on a move to London.

Meanwhile, Pawn Allen’s immediate superiors had apparently been ignoring her and the problem for ages. Myfanwy was actually glad that Gestalt was there because they offered to be the one to yell and glower at the office heads, two things Myfanwy was not very good at doing.

As nice as it was watching them doing the shouty part of things, she was worried about getting back to the hotel in time. Not for their check in time, but for the OTHER situation she had come to Cornwall for. 

She had not expected her cover to actually be this big of an issue, and it was taking more time than anticipated to start putting the cogs in motion to fix things. She had left her first part of the payout in good faith 48 hours ago. Her package should be waiting at the hotel, but the clock was ticking on how long it would be there. They had let her know that it would be gone by midnight, and while it was far from then -- currently not even dinner time -- she wasn’t sure how she would get away from Gestalt long enough to retrieve it.

Maybe she could head back to the hotel on her own?

No, Gestalt would probably send a Pawn with her or insist on coming with her. If not for security reasons then for other more deviant reasons.

Gestalt’s other bodies had been sending her text messages every so often saying she looked too stressed, along with photos of the classic four-poster beds from the hotel they were staying at and suggestive emojis to make her laugh.

When they were finally “done” for the day it was past 8, so Myfanwy requested they go right to the Jamaica Inn hotel and asked Alex to check them in while she used the loo. 

Her teachers at Glengrove would have been proud but Gestalt would be pissed, again, if she played this wrong. If she had waited till they both went to the pub, Gestalt would have had eyes on her the entire time. She would have to come up with an excuse like getting lost, or wandering around to get away.

She had downloaded a layout for the Jamaica Inn before the trip so she knew the quickest route from the front desk to the pub. But it also helped that it wasn’t her first time there. 

_ Don’t be distracted. Don’t think about the past. Concentrate on now and not LOSING that past _ she thought to herself. This package she was getting could not only help her future amnesiac self, but she was still hoping to maybe find a way out of things.  _ Maybe you can just use them now. Just get on a bus from here and whisk yourself away…. Because that will be so easy with Gestalt standing right in the reception area waiting for you. You are fucked Myfanwy and not just in the good way.  _

She moved quickly and quietly, keeping an eye out for a shock of blonde hair. She needed to be fast and unnoticed.

It took a matter of minutes. No one gave her a second glance. She simply walked into the semi-full pub, wandered over to a table by the large fireplace, dropped her purse as if by accident, and made a switch of the money for the passports and IDs. 

Her teachers would have given her perfect marks. 

She saw them through the wavy glass of one of the windows.

_ Crap. _

  
  


***

  
  


Gestalt decided they could possibly turn this work trip into a mini-vacation. Sure it wasn’t exactly the sexiest of getaways but it was technically their first trip together… OK, the car had been sexy but also… Angry. They could deal with all of those conflicting emotional issues later. Or never. Whichever came first. 

And It wasn’t like they had a lot of time off. 

On the drive over they had suggested finding a nice place for dinner, but Myfawny insisted that the Jamaica Inn had a pub that would suit her fine. 

While Myfawny went to the bathroom, Gestalt managed to secure a very nice upgrade to their room: they went from a regular double bed to a suite with one of the four-poster king-sized beds they had seen photos of on the website. They were very pleased with themselves. 

They also looked into possibly extending their stay for a day or two. Gestalt had Robert checking their phone for train schedules, Eliza seeing what else there is to do in town and Teddy trying to see how the hell any of them could leave London in the next 24 hours. 

There had to be a way at least one other body could make it down and join them. A king bed wasn’t really big enough for five of them, and it wasn’t like they had even broached THAT idea yet. Gestalt had never really thought that far ahead or even about the possibility. In fact, the idea of bringing it up made them nervous. It seemed like a lot to ask of Myfanwy right now. 

Gestalt sat Alex down by the ladies’ room, excited to share the good news about the upgrade and the possible extended stay. They would have to have Teddy ask Ingrid about Myfawny’s schedule. Wait, she would hate that. They would ask Myfawny first. See, they were learning. They would ask her at the pub during dinner. 

Gestalt found themselves starting to get a bit nervous, waiting. They glanced over at a bulletin board with a big advertisement about pub trivia. Myfawny was really good at trivia. She had rattled off quite a few non-Checquy-related facts about this area and the Jamaica Inn on the drive from the headquarters, actually. Myf was a regular bounty of useless facts. They had teased her before that they would do more pub trivia nights if they didn’t count as almost an entire team just showing up as themselves with Myf. Not fair to stick their girl with a team mostly made up of one other person. The one time they HAD gone out with one body to do trivia, they had kind of, sort of, had another body googling the answers. This had been pre- hooking up with Myf, and at the time they hadn’t wanted to admit it, but it was a ploy to impress her. She had, of course, found out and not spoken to them for a week.

Gestalt looked around the waiting room, and at the clock.

It was then that they realized something. 

Myfanwy had headed left when she walked away from the front desk. 

The bathrooms were towards the right.

Gestalt scanned the room. Ok, so she had gone left towards the exit. She had to have a good reason. No reason to panic.

They tried to mentally think if there were any large vulture infestations in Cornwall. Teddy was pulling up their files on Cornwall to check for activity. Gestalt briskly walked to the exit and out to the courtyard, hands shoved in their pockets. The most likely path if she had gone left was to head to the pub. So that's the direction they walked.

They did NOT like being in a strange place they hadn’t previously scouted, especially when they had only one body on hand. Eliza muttered the word “sloppy” as she and Robert were wrapping things up during a debrief, thereby causing the entire strike team in the room to freak out thinking they had unknowingly screwed up. 

They entered the dim pub trying not to draw attention to themselves, but a large angry blonde man in a tracksuit hovering in a doorway will draw attention. They scanned the room from where they stood at the entrance to the massive fireplace at the end.

Nothing. She wasn’t here. They were about to start truly panicking only to see the door near the back of the pub swing open and Myfanwy step out still drying her hands. She blinked once as if surprised to see them and Gestalt felt all of themselves take a gulp of air.

Myfanwy braced herself as Gestalt came over, their body relaxing from hunting mode to Alex's friendly calm one.

“Got lost?” Alex said trying to hold back a worried tone.

“Took a wrong turn and decided to check if the pub had a toilet,” Myfanwy pointed behind her “It did,"

“Mmhmm,” Alex was tight lipped. Gestalt didn’t want to admit that they had panicked, bringing up their fight from earlier (which was still pretty much unresolved). “Okay. Right,"

“Are you Ok? Your face is turning colors,”

“No it isn’t,”

“Yes. Yes it is,”

“No,”

Myfanwy bit her lip to keep from laughing. Gestalt was most definitely turning a shade of pink. Were they embarrassed? Or were they worried she had disappeared? Should she be annoyed or find it endearing?

“You’re the same shade as your favorite sweater,”

“It’s not funny,” They mumbled.

“Sort of is,” Myfanwy almost snorted. 

Gestalt paused “I have a favorite sweater?”

Myfanwy just nodded “The soft slouchy one with the big pockets that Eliza wears. You wear it when you are either in a particularly good mood or when something has gone particularly bad and you need a pick up,” She stepped forward and adjusted Alex’s track jacket collar where it had come up on the side. 

It was true. They just hadn’t thought she knew or noticed. 

Gestalt was looking down at her, and just… their heart skipped at beat for a moment. The moment felt heavy around them. They both stilled. Even the sounds of the people in the pub seemed to dim.

Alex pulled her the rest of the way into them, leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Then looked into her eyes cupping her face in one hand, a serious look on their face.

“Myf, I-”

“Hey, let's get some food,” she interrupted brightly.

  
  


She didn’t know what they were about to say. It could have been anything. Could have been nothing. Could have been huge. 

Her heart couldn’t risk it.

“What? Umm, ok. Sure,” Gestalt looked taken aback. Not exactly hurt, but, the turn of the conversation had thrown them. 

“Right, the food here is fairly good, and they have an amazing chocolate cake, I mean, I umm read it was,” Myfanwy covered as she patted his arms and slipped from his embrace to grab a table. “Food then we can settle into our room?” 

Gestalt was still too thrown and just nodded. Alex shoved their hands back in their pockets, a blank look on their face, and followed where she led.

Normally, Myfawny tended to avoid conversations about the past, but tonight she seemed keen to talk about nostalgic moments they’d shared. Gestalt was more than happy to laugh with her about some of their more wild antics. They both knew exactly what not to talk about, where not to poke, what not to bring up. And when those topics seemed to run their course for the evening, they began talking of nothing of real importance. It was nice, it was comfortable. They most definitely did NOT talk about their relationship. 

They spent an age the pub chatting, til Myfanwy pointed out how late it was getting.

“Do we have to check in with the HQ tomorrow before we head back?” Gestalt asked “More work to wrap up?”

Myfanwy gave a quick nod of her head looking distracted. “Just a quick stop in, though it doesn't have to be too early.. Pawn Allen did the hardest part for us, and we got the ball rolling today. I can coordinate the rest back from the Rookery. We can sleep in tomorrow if you like, or rather, we can TRY to sleep in.” the pair of them shared a smile remembering the years of training that tried to turn every member of the Chequy into a morning person whether they wanted to be or not. 

“Still it’s late, I think I need to get this body and yours into bed,” Gestalt was tired, all of their bodies had a long day, an emotional roller-coaster of a day. They were also thinking of the four-poster king-sized bed and imagining Myfanwy in some very delicious combinations which could very easily wake them up. At the same time, just sleeping with her sounded like a dream. Gestalt had never had many chances to snuggle or cuddle with someone in the past, and they really enjoyed it with Myfanwy. Alex could be the little spoon maybe? They hadn't tried that yet with any bodies other than Elizas. That could be very nice. They could try that lie-in till late in the morning and THEN try out all the combinations…

Myfanwy half-nodded then stopped and looked out the window.

“Actually…“

***

“You didn’t have to come. The lake is five minutes from the hotel. I would have driven right back. I just wanted to come out here, no real reason,” She was unbuckling her seatbelt and not looking at him.

Alex rolled his eyes and leaned back in the driver's seat head hitting the head rest with a thunk. “You randomly want to drive out to a lake, at 11:00 at night, for no real reason? That’s kind of weird Myf.”

She sighed and stopped moving. This was giving her a headache. She turned to look at him. 

“Pawn Harper in the mail room can control snails with her mind, and Pawn Smyth over in building management makes erotic felted art out of other people’s pets’ fur to sell on Etsy…that’s weird. Wanting to see a lake in the moonlight is hardly earth-shattering,"

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Is the art any good?”

“Oh sod off,” she muttered. She looked about to say something more, then thought better of it. Instead, without a word of warning, she bolted out of the car. 

“For fuck’s sake…” Gestalt was turning on the child lock next time even though it would be a total dick move. Alex was out of the car with a scowl on his face “Myfanwy‼” 

The drive HAD only taken five minutes, just as she had said, and it was surprisingly nice out, but he had no idea why they were there. The place was empty of tourists and backpackers due to the time of night. It was beautiful, but it was still out of character for Myfanwy to switch from eating dinner to deciding “yes, I’m going to go to a lake in the middle of nowhere at 11:00 at night,”.

Back in London, Teddy was stuck at the office finishing some paperwork and listening to the latest pawn assigned to be their temporary EA. The pawn, whose name they could not remember, kept making the world’s most unhelping comments on the reports every so often, and had also asked several leading questions regarding the relationship status of Robert. How had Myfanwy gotten Ingrid while they kept getting stuck with a rotating pool of temp assistants from hell? Unfair. 

Robert and Eliza had only just arrived back at the flat, after ages of debriefs and going over evidence and equipment, and were unpacking. Gestalt’s other bodies were exhausted, all of them was cranky and wanted their own bed. Also, they wanted Myfanwy to freaking tell them what was going on. 

They were THIS close to just picking up Myfanwy and dragging her back like a Neanderthal in a bad movie because frankly they didn’t know what to do. Was this a nervous breakdown, and if so were THEY having it or was Myfanwy? Robert started googling one handed on their cell phone and sorting out their packed clothes with the other. 

But Robert froze mid-google. Eliza dropped the entire suitcase she had been about to put away a shelf. 

Gestalt had just seen a flash of pale skin at the edge of the dock… apparently Myfanwy had run down to the edge and was starting to… ok, she was intending to murder them apparently. She wanted their hearts to just stop right then and there.

“For fuck’s sake,” Teddy said through gritted teeth.

“What?” The pawn asked looking up from their stack of papers.

”Get out and close the door behind you. Now.” Teddy demanded, closing their eyes and pointing to the door, very glad this was not one of the glass rooms.

“But..."

“OUT!”

“I-”

“OOUUTT!”

The pawn scuttled out quickly. And it was a good thing. 

Because Alex, all the way out near a lake, was watching Myfanwy Thomas stand on the end of a dock, and strip down to nothing.

She turned and looked over her, now bare, shoulder. “Either go back to the car, or get in.” Then she jumped in the lake.

”Hell…” Eliza muttered, stumbling over to the edge of the bed and sitting down. Robert followed suit.

Gestalt collectively sighed in a mix of resignation and lust. 

Out loud Alex said “yes, ma’am," took his hands out of his pockets, and walked down the dock, stripping as they went.

  
  


****

Myfanwy hadn’t meant to jump in the lake. Especially not naked. Having time to go to Dozmary Pool had been on her original checklist of things to do, but not like this. She had thought she might go tomorrow. Just wake up early and sit for a few minutes. Breathe in the air and have a think. But for some reason, she just couldn’t wait.

_ Taking a lot of risks lately. Gestalt already noticed. Wonder who else has?  _ she thought to herself. 

But right now, as she watched a Gestalt in the form of Alex strip out of their black track suit and jump in the water, the risk of jumping into a lake naked was certainly looking like it was paying off. 

There was a splash as Gestalt joined her. 

“Christ it’s cold!” Alex came up from the water sputtering. The water was shallow here, near the dock, but still just above their head. Myfanwy, being shorter, was treading water and laughed at them. Alex reached for her and she dodged, dunking herself and re-emerging just out of reach. 

“Come on then, where’s that secret agent training? Was that all-environment all-weather training wasted?” Myfanwy took on a fake Irish accent “Let’s go future Pawn Gestalt, buck up, quit yer shivering, mind over matter, remember this is all-”

“For queen and country, for all her people” she and Alex chorused together “FOR THE FUCKING FIGHT OF YOUR LIVES!” They laughed both swimming a bit closer together.

”Pawn Morton was a bit of a crackpot wasn’t she?” Myfanwy asked.

“Eh… it was a good rally cry. The Form Threes loved having the opportunity to swear and not get in trouble," Gestalt replied.

“So many runs in the rain though, hated those.” Myfanwy remembered those runs. Remembered watching Gestalt running in the rain, looking like viking gods with their blonde hair and blue eyes. She had called them Thor more than once. They had seemed so untouchable. But she got to touch them now and that made her smile.

Without warning Alex tugged her forward to them. She allowed him to, and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body to his larger frame.

“Kiss would warm me up,” Alex said with a crooked grin.

“Mm, would it?”

He nodded sagely. “Yes, I am sure there were entire chapters on body heat and survival in class. You just skipped those chapters."

“Must be why I failed.”

“Should have been my study partner in more than just the academic classes,” and then he kissed her. Soft and sweet. She was pliable in his arms, molding her naked body to his.

Teddy snapped a pen he didn’t realize he was holding.

Gestalt was about to deepen the kiss when Myfanwy, quick as anything, had the nerve --the GALL-- to dunk them. 

The tiny, waifish Rook used some weird mismatch of what she had been practicing with them in the gym and somehow managed to dunk a very shocked Gestalt. She then made to swim away laughing. 

Coming up for air with a gasp of shock, Gestalt reached out Alex’s large hand and grabbed a delicate, retreating ankle which made Myfanwy squeak mid-laugh. 

“Oh no no no, you don’t!” Gestalt hollered with glee, any remaining worries temporarily washed away in their surprise lake-baptism. 

“GAH!” Myfanwy was nearly breathless laughing at her own audacity and, in her opinion, very well-timed dunk as Gestalt pulled her swiftly back into their arms, hugging her back to their front. 

“I am not sorry!” Myfanwy gasped still laughing “You left yourself wide open to that,” she wriggled them making them groan. They were 75% sure she knew exactly what she was doing to them, the little minx.

“Revenge is mine Rook Thomas,” and then Alex began to lavish sloppy kisses on her neck and tickled her in all the key spots they had learned over the past few weeks, which caused her to laugh louder, and at one very embarrassing moment, snort. Gestalt was laughing themselves, though the chuckles were tempered by the fact that Myfanwy's body was rubbing against them and definitely warming them up. 

In between laughs, Myfanwy gasped something that sounded like the word “mercy.”

“What’s that? IS that.. mercy I hear you ask for?” Alex whispered in her ear. 

Myfanwy giggled and wriggled half out of breath still cracking up “Yes! Mercy! Uncle! Safeword‼”

“Safeword?”

“Uhh yes !! Safe word? Wait.. do we have a safe word?”

They both paused for a second, contemplative.

“Are we.. are we supposed to have one?”Gestalt asked, genuinely pondering it. All of their bodies paused and Gestalt had Robert reach for their phone to google the percentage of couples that use one, had Eliza start googling better definitions and uses for ‘safe words’. Teddy was still at work and took a moment to set up a Checquy car to come pick them up as soon as all of  _ this _ was over and they could safely leave the office without fear of embarrassing themselves. Teddy just lay their head down on the desk with a thunk. 

Myfanwy responded by splashing a large amount of water behind her at Alex's face and almost managed to wriggle out of their grip. 

In response, Gestalt sighed, tabled the existential safe word question for later, and simply adjusted their grip. “See if we practiced more, you could get out of this. So now,” They flipped her sideways so they were cradling her and kissed her sweetly once, “My Revenge!” Gestalt then swung her around and flung her out into the water with a resounding splash. 

Laughing, Gestalt swam after her and grabbed her up when she popped up out of the water before she could swim away. Turning her so she faced them and grabbing her rear, Gestalt hoisted her up so her legs had to wrap around them. 

“Very naughty, Thomas. Dunking your fellow Rook, tsk tsk,” Alex used one hand to wipe the water from her eyes grinning. 

“You deserved it,” She muttered.

“Uh-huh.”

Myfanwy kissed them on the cheek and unwrapped her legs from around them and floated a bit away smiling. She looked up at the moon and just sighed, closing her eyes her face relaxed.

It really was a pretty spot, Gestalt thought, but then worry creased their forehead. It was pretty, but it was also the middle of the night. This, this whole thing wasn’t like Myfanwy. Things just didn’t add up. Behaviors, comments, actions… and all the playful acts of skinny dipping couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that they were missing something. Gestalt’s eyes followed Myfanwy. 

“Gestalt?”

Gestalt didn’t answer, they just kept looking at her, concern still on their face.

“Gestalt?” she repeated 

“Sorry, what?”

“Where are you?” Myfanwy asked.

Gestalt stopped looking at her, their gaze moving over her shoulder to the darkness of the pool. They sank up to their chin. “Teddys calling a car to take him home, Eliza and Robert are unpacking,” The answer was detached, automatic. 

Myfanwy looked surprised . “Oh, you got home from Orkney already? When did-- Wait no… no, that’s not--” She shook her head and swam closer, putting her hands on Alex’s shoulders and shaking them lightly “Where are YOU? Not just the rest of your bodies, though I do appreciate knowing where every part of you is," she looked them in the eyes, “You seem far away just now."

_ You’re one to talk, _ Gestalt thought. “Your lips are going to turn blue,” they tried to tease and draw her in for another kiss. 

“Stop looking at my lips and answer,” she pulled back.

“Maybe I like to look at your lips.”

Myfanwy shook her head, little droplets of water spraying.

With a sigh, Gestalt relented.

“I’m thinking,” Alex started, it was hard to concentrate with her body touching theirs like this, even in the cold of the lake. Under the moon. Like a pair of love struck teenagers. She was ruining their ability to think things through.

“Can we talk about this in the car. Please," Gestalt finally asked. Their eyes met. Myfawny felt realized that while she couldn’t see her breath, it was hardly warm. She felt the cold for the first time since she had stripped down. She nodded, her face falling. 

Both of them were silent as they started to swim over to the dock. It wasn’t just the cold settling into them. Both of them were silently trying to plan what they were going to say or ask next.

  
  


Honesty? Half truths? How did they play this? Gestalt wondered as they helped Myfanwy up the ladder, careful not to stare too long at her nude form (they deserved a sainthood for that) and got themselves out of the water.

They had literally spent half their lives training to be able to lie about this type of stuff. But this was not the body they felt most comfortable with for seduction and infiltration. Actually, lying was actually harder with the Alex body . Alex was for fun, possibly some interrogation and intimidation. This was why it should have been Robert or Eliza accompanying Myfanwy on this bizarre excursion. Then they could have gotten actual information instead of starting a full-on fight. Gestalt had always felt more at ease with heart-to-hearts when they were Eliza anyways. But they had only two choices when they had realized what was going on last night, and Alex seemed like a better choice then Teddy at the time. 

Both Gestalt and Myfawny were shivering and grabbing clothes,hastily running, dripping wet, towards the car and its heated seats. In the trunk, there was one unused towel meant to be for a workout Gestalt had not gotten to that day. Gestalt did the noble thing by letting Myfawny use it first. 

Neither had said anything yet. 

Inwardly, as Myfawny was hopping around trying to get her still-damp body back into her knickers and skirt, Gestalt was groaning and kicking themselves. They should have just kept going with the fun-filled night, enjoyed a shag in the lake, possibly another back at the hotel, then dealt with more of these stupid, complicated emotions later. They could have waited until they had bodies better suited to this task on hand.

Things never went the way they planned anymore.

Finally both were dressed and in the car sighing as the heated seats kicked on. Both damp but warming up slowly.

Myfanwy turned to face them in her seat as Alex started the car.

“Well?” She said pointedly.

“You first," They finally said. Yes, an excellent tactic. They were a genius. 

“What?”

“Why are we really here, Myfanwy?”

“I… I wanted to see the lake…” she said slowly raising an eyebrow.

Alex gave her a look. 

”Because of an issue with the pension,” Myfanwy tried again, but her voice was lacking conviction. 

“Bullshit,” Gestalt said, louder than they meant to. Myfanwy looked startled. 

“There were thousands of ways to get that information. Pawns and retainers galore who could access it for you or could have come and gotten it,” Gestalt was on a roll, and unable to stop the tumble of words that were suddenly pouring out of them. “You never had to come down here. In fact, this may be one of the first times you have ever left London on official work without being forced to. You never leave London if you don’t absolutely have to. You never even take vacations. And when it comes down to it, you have never ever done any of the travel or leg work for a field mission, even one as tame as this,"

Their other bodies were cringing. That had been a low blow. Myfanwy's face was coloring with something like embarrassment or anger. 

But they couldn’t stop now, the morning’s fight still unresolved and just under the surface.

“But this weekend, out of the blue, you decided on a random in-person field trip to check on accounting weirdness in Cornwall? It’s like not you Myfanwy. And lately so many things have just not--" Internally, Gestalt was screaming the word ‘FUCK’ in all capitals. They hadn’t meant to let it out, but for some reason, after all the ups and downs of the day they couldn’t keep it in anymore. Maybe the lake water had a parasite, they should look into that.

Myfanwy was silent. She closed her eyes.  _ Tell the truth, not the whole truth, part of it _ . While they had been drying off she had debated on and off what she might have to say. “My parents used to take us here as kids," She said softly.

That… that was not what Gestalt was expecting her to say. If they’d had a list of things they thought she would say, that would not have been on it.

It wasn’t 100% a lie or truth. Yes, the accounting issue at the headquarters here HAD aligned perfectly with her ability to acquire the fake IDs for her blue-key “new life” plan, but also, when she’d seen the town was the same one she’d come to as a child, Myfanwy’s heart had broken just a little. It wasn’t just her life as a member of the Checquy she was going to lose, it was everything from before. The good memories from before her powers, from when she felt safe and loved. A time when her biggest issues were her grades in chem, or if Bronwyn was going to tell someone she still slept with a stuffed bunny, or if the girl next door thought she was cute, and the biggest secrets she had to keep were hidden in her diary. 

“Your... parents?” 

“My father is… was obsessed with King Arthur,” she gestured at the water they had just been floating in “Dozmary Pool, supposed spot for the Lady of the Lake and Excalibur. We came every other year to hike and ‘enjoy nature’ or something like that.” Myfanwy looked out the windshield. “I hated it, until I didn’t have them anymore,” she whispered. 

She waited a moment to see if Gestalt would say anything at her sudden revelation. They never EVER talked about their families. She didn’t ask Gestalt about who they had been before the Checquy claimed them as children, and she had long ago stopped talking about her family from before her EVA emerged. No one in the Chequy talked about their families from before. It was just not done. Why talk about people who don’t want you or who you probably won’t ever see again?

“I guess... I guess I was feeling nostalgic." She leaned against the headrest, looking at the moon through the window, her voice getting softer. “I saw the file cross my desk and it just made me remember all these things from my childhood. So I decided why not, why not come down myself and take a moment, I don’t know what I was thinking but I just... I just wanted to come."

“You’ve been thinking about nostalgia a lot,” Gestalt said softly “And you’ve been saying ‘why not’ a lot lately,” they were pivoting the conversation as they reached for her hand, lacing their fingers with hers. She turned to look at them. Worry creased Gestalts face. “Am I a why not? Is this something about the past? Your past? Our past?” 

All of them held their breath. Their hearts beat faster.Their bodies stilled their movements. It was a fear they had in the back of their head, and they hadn’t really meant to blurt it out. Not here and not now. But they wanted to know. 

Myfanwy looked into Alex’s eyes. She hated that she was hurting them. And she knew, just KNEW she was hurting them. But she didn’t know how not to.

_ How do I explain that it’s not about the past but about not having a future without telling you everything?  _

“I think I was just tired of waiting for what I wanted,” she finally said, her voice low. “I didn’t want to waste anymore time. Because--“ she had to stop herself or it would all come pouring out. “Because it was you. I kissed you because I had feelings for you, even if I wasn’t sure what they were. I hoped you did, too.” She gripped their hand, moving her other one so both of her small ones held their larger one.

Elsewhere Gestalt moved three hands to mimic the motion. 

“I’m still figuring things out,” Myfawny said, her eyes looking down at their hands “I know I want you, and have feelings for you. Can that be enough? For now at least?”

It was.

It wasn’t. 

It was good news wasn’t it? 

But they could read in her face that it wasn’t the whole truth. It was part of the truth. Maybe even most of it. But she was holding something back. Something she was afraid of. 

What are you supposed to do when you have almost everything you ever wanted literally in front of you saying things that are so close to just what you need to hear?

They moved their hand from hers, and gathered her to them as best they could across the console, breathing her in, Alex buried his face in her neck for a second. Her scent now dulled by the smell of lake water, but still her. 

“You’re holding something back Myf,” Gestalt whispered. They wanted to kiss her again, take her again. To stop talking, to say sure, everything is great, take what they can get and be grateful. They should. It would be the smart thing to do.

But this was Myf. She was more important to them than just a quick answer.

A small voice in the back of their head asked if they even deserve any proper answers. 

“Yes,” Eliza said out loud in the kitchen.

“No,” Robert overlapped.

Teddy stayed silent staring into nothing.

“I know I am,” she finally admitted and then took a deep breath as if about to say more. They braced themselves, all four bodies tensing. She was going to tell them. She was going to finally let them know what was going on. Then they could help. They would make it all better. She drew back, moved her hands up their Alex's face and looked at them with worry in her eyes. 

“Can you give me some time?” she asked. 

The little voice in her head was reminding her she didn’t have time to waste, but it was the only thing she could think to tell them or ask of them. It was as close to the truth right now as she was willing to go “Please. I have to sort some things out. Just give me time.”

Gestalt paused. Was it enough of an explanation? 

They nodded said in unison. But only Alex had to put on a convincing face as they tilted their face to the side and kissed her palm.

“All the time you need,” Gestalt said trying to sound convincing, like only Alex could. 

They could give her time. They just hoped they didn’t break whatever it was they were building here while they waited for answers. They had already waited so long. What was more time? 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone comments, I am aware that Dozmary Pool is now more of a puddle, let me have this romantic notion OK?   
It is a real place but drought has not treated what was once thought to be a bottomless lake well.   
However, a little girl totally found a sword there a few years ago so make of that what you will. Has the Chequy looked into her? I think they should.   
THANK YOU to Knox as always for being my saving grace, editor, sounding board and pretty much just the best person ever. 
> 
> Also to the rookery discord for yelling at me a lot and keeping the fandom alive.


	8. Work Snacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown Clock: 85 Days
> 
> Gestalt has a problem, and Myfanwy wants to know why the hell they can't use their words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure smut chapter that I promised the Discord ages ago. Was originally it's own ficlet, but I decided to blend it into the R&R story. Because reasons. I actually wrote this chapter before most of the other chapters, it just took a long time to get it to where i wanted.

Work Snacks

Countdown Clock: 85 Days

Myfanwy Thomas was fairly used to the unexpected at this point. One did not become a Rook as part of some clandestine secret shadow government agency that didn’t strictly  _ exist _ and handled the paranormal and strange without getting used to the unexpected. Her abilities, personal life and career trajectory were themselves unexpected. She was even handling her impending memory loss fairly well thank you much.

But she still gave a very un-Rook-like squeak of alarm when she was grabbed and hauled into a dark room while walking down the hall.

Oh god. This was it. This was when it was going to happen. She had gotten too relaxed, too happy and now she was going to have her memory wiped in the middle of the day, at work, in her least favorite cardigan.

At least she was wearing very nice underwear for once.

No, fuck that, she had getting laid regularly for the first time in forever and she didn’t care how shallow that sounded, she was not about to go down NOW without a fight.

But just before she could scream or lash out with her water bottle and files, or do anything Gestalt had been working with her on, she recognized the hands on her skin and saw a flash of blonde hair.

“What the HELL!” She managed to turn her yell into an angry whisper. Her rage at not having her taser morphed into rage at the person standing in the room with her. Her glare intensified.

Gestalt calmly took the items still in her grasp and placed them on a small table and without a word (or apology!), stepped away to lock the door. Still silent, they turned and walked back over to her trying to take her into their arms as if they had NOT just dragged her into a room like a Neanderthal kidnapper. Then they had the nerve to try and kiss her! Myfanwy pulled back and glared. 

Looking into the familiar (and now slightly guilty looking) blue eyes of one Teddy Gestalt, Myfanwy scowled. 

  
  


Okay, Teddy knew that face that Myfanwy was giving them. This… they had fucked up hadn’t they?

“Myfanwy,” they said quietly, trying to look at least a little apologetic as they ran their hands up and down her arms. “Ummm… Did nothing we’ve been going over about defending yourself stick?” they tried to play it off. Yes, they were smooth. Very smooth. They could play this off as a training exercise. 

“What? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?” she hissed at them.

Nope, not gonna work. She was not buying it. They were not smooth. Not in the slightest. But really, she ought to have at least tried to-

“You were TESTING me you insufferable dolt?” She pushed them away again “I could have… I own a taser now. What if I had tased you… You would have deserved it,” She slapped them on the arm. Gestalt winced. “Why would you just grab me and...” her words ran off? She finally took a second to look them over. 

Teddy was wearing one of their standards. Grey pants, grey suit jacket covering a black shirt. But their normally perfectly slicked down curls looked mussed, like they had been running their hand through them, which was normally an Alex gesture. Their clothes were rumpled, and one of the buttons on the suit jacket had been ripped off as if they had been toying with it. Teddy’s eyes, while guilty-looking, also seemed to be far more exhausted than they should be for just 5 PM. They were holding their body more stiffly than normal, seeming to favor their left side. She grabbed their hands to examine- they had been gnawing their thumb recently. Myfanwy looked around the dimly lit room and realized where they were.

“Why are we in your spare office? Did something happen?”

Gestalt kept a small private office just big enough for a desk and a futon for emergency naps. During a crisis, they could keep going for ages so long as one body got some sleep. Sometimes when they were on field missions they would send whichever body was at the Rookery to sleep here instead of going home. That way the rest of Gestalt could continue working wherever they were. It wasn’t comfortable by any means, but it would do in a pinch. 

“I.. I just needed to see you and you were walking by right then and--“

“You couldn’t send a text? ‘Hey Myf, please drop by the office for a quick chat?’ Something like that?” She raised an eyebrow. 

Teddy blew out a rush of air and said in a detached tone. “Things on that country mission I was supervising got a bit messier then I let on,”

Myfanwy froze. “You texted that you were fine and… Gestalt are you OK?” She began to push further away trying to pry their jacket off as if she could somehow feel or see the injuries on the other bodies of Gestalt just by examining the one in front of her. “Why didn’t you tell me right off?”

“I’ll be fine. I AM fine. Eliza and Robert are resting up in a private hotel room near the site. Possible grade 1 sprained ankle on Eliza, and a nasty forehead gash on Robert. Small abrasions and a load of bruises on both of me. Going to be sore for a while. I didn’t want to worry you with the specifics until I had a better assessment,” they almost laughed as Myfanwy kept trying to strip them of their jacket, they finally helped her, grimacing a bit because they felt the phantom pains from the rest of themselves. 

Gestalt found it endearing the way she felt the need to check for wounds and bruises on their body. They knew that she knew it wasn’t how it worked, but the fact that she seemed intent on making sure that this body in front of her was OK touched them. They winced a bit as Eliza shifted on the bed, accidentally using a bruised palm to brace themselves as they leaned forward. They were cleaning and bandaging the gash on Robert’s forehead, always preferring to patch themselves up whenever possible. After all, they actually knew what hurt and where, without having to ask or endure unnecessary pokes.

Gestalt was trying to push all the pain down, but it was always harder when more than one part of them was beaten up, and the way they felt right now, after all the fighting, wasn’t helping. 

Here and now, Gestalt allowed Myfanwy to remove their jacket. They liked how she seemed to need to touch whatever part of them she could right now. Myfanwy was muttering about needing to thoroughly inspect the rest of Gestalt, ASAP. 

“Worried about my two prettier faces getting bashed in?”

Myfanwy rolled her eyes at them.

“You need to take better care of yourself. All of yourself. And get all of your asses home to me so I can make sure you aren’t overdoing it,” She was mumbling, her tone still put out and annoyed. 

Gestalt slowly walked her back towards the wall. They leaned closer placing their forehead against hers breathing in her scent of rose oil. How the hell did she always smell of it? Did she have a bottle of perfume? A shampoo? 

Their blood was still pumping from the fight, the adrenaline rushing in their system despite the pain. Everything in them felt alive and wired and full of need and want. It was overwhelming them as much as the smell and feel of her was. 

Their Alex body, as soon as they had seen Myfanwy, had discreetly excused themselves from where they had been going over surveillance tapes. Before, with any other person, this wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, but with Myfanwy... all bets are off. Better to be prepared, secure and alone, until they got a handle on this.

“Gestalt?” Myfanwy whispered, her hands moving up to stroke their hair and the back of their neck. She could sense a sudden change in Gestalts posture, feel the way the air in the room seemed to shift. Gestalt was quiet, as if they just needed to be near her, feel her. She leaned her head back so it tapped the wall. She could just make them out in the dim light from a desk lamp and small window with the shades drawn. Unlike other offices at the Rookery, this one was totally enclosed, no glass walls. 

Right now, Myfanwy was trying to figure out what Gestalt needed. They had grabbed her and dragged her into a darkened room out of nowhere. It wasn’t like them. They hadn’t told her the mission had ended up in a battle, nor that they had been hurt. In the two months they had been seeing each other she hadn’t seen them like this. It was new. And she didn’t feel like trying to suss out the answer. So she just asked. 

“What is it you need from me?”

Gestalt tried to take a deep breath but failed. They weren’t 100% sure of the answer themselves.

“Just needed… to see you and I didn’t... I don’t know why. I just do. There’s this adrenaline rush after a fight, I think we talked about it once, ages ago. I’ve always had it but right now it’s… I just needed you. To feel you. And I’m not sure why or what to do.” They braced themselves on the wall, a large calloused hand on either side of her. Keeping themselves at arm’s length. Their whole body still thrummed with the pent-up energy.

When one or more bodies got that rush and release of adrenaline from something like a fight, Gestalt felt the same buildup in their other bodies. But it became difficult when all of their bodies didn’t have the option to find a way to release it. It had driven them to some fights and potentially embarrassing situations as a teenager and in their early 20s (especially when one added in the super duper fun parts of adolescences and hormones). Trying to deal with the buildup in their four bodies at once had a learning curve for sure. 

How to deal with it while keeping three other bodies totally at rest or completely nonchalant and involved elsewhere became just as important as compartmentalizing pain, maintaining four separate  _ identities _ or doing multiple tasks at once. They had become masters at it, even if it meant whichever bodies were not active could be a bit, well, snippy. And they had found other outlets to deal with it when things got dicey.

Today’s mission had gone sideways, but it had been exhilarating in so many ways. Alex had been at the gym for most of it and had been able to deal with the adrenaline rush as it hit Gestalt. But Teddy, Teddy had been stuck in meetings for the past two days with zero outlet.

Right now they wanted--needed something. And for some reason they felt a loss of control and were craving one thing, one person they thought might possibly help them deal with this pent-up ache they were developing.

“I just… reacted,” Gestalt said again opening their eyes, all guilt gone, just hunger, as they roamed over Myfanwy’s face. 

She met their gaze, seeing the heat there and feeling it rising in herself. She suddenly understood. She licked her lips. 

But then ( _ no no no _ she thought) Gestalt looked about to pull away, the guilt starting to cross over their face, as if they were thinking better of this. They even seemed about to say something, possibly to apologize and stop themselves. Teddy began to straighten their black shirt. 

Not waiting to find out if they were going to stop whatever they had started, Myfanwy pushed off the wall and she instead pushed THEM into the other wall, hands to their chest, rising on her toes, and locked her lips to theirs. Four sets of eyes closed in bliss. 

Eliza gasped and her non-bruised hand gripped the crisp white bed sheets, mirroring Teddy’s sudden grip on Myfanwy’s cardigan as they began to try and remove it from her, not even realizing when they ripped it in the process. Robert let out a silent groan as Teddy’s audible one was swallowed up by Myfanwy's mouth. Alex closed their eyes trying to sit still in the small private office they were working in across town as they felt slender hands pulling on Teddy’s shirt to drag their body closer.

“Myfanwy,” they whispered in unison as she ran he hands up their body, around their neck and through Teddy’s hair, pulling and tugging. The three bodies tried to remain statue-still where they were. Calm, trying to regulate their breathing, just two injured agents, sitting silently on the edge of a bed. One agent in an office taking a relaxing… meditation?

Yup….Totally a-okay. Nothing to see here, folks. Eliza wasn’t shifting their legs against one another, and Robert was laying down on the bed only because of the injuries and not because of… reasons. Alex's hands weren’t curling into fists on the desk, face unable to maintain a blank look as a smile crossed it. Gestalt totally had all three of those bodies under control while Teddy’s body finally got some much needed relief. 

Myfanwy's hands moved back down Teddy’s body to their pants.

That whole control thing was fucked.

But at least they were potentially about to be, too.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Teddy whispered into her mouth as they finally got her cardigan off (it had been harder than it should be because she kept trying to undo their pants at the same time). They were yanking her blouse out of her skirt and fumbling for the zipper. “I’m really--“ their words and actions were cut off when Myfanwy finally got their pants unbuckled and… well, she just went for it.

They had been semi-hard before, but now as her hand slid into their pants they were lost. Slim fingers pulled their cock out of their boxer briefs and wrapped around their length. She was kissing them, pressed up against their body, and her hand slowly began moving. 

Then just as suddenly she backed away, met their eyes for a second and dropped to her knees.

This was much appreciated, but had NOT been part of their “not a plan” plan when they brought her in here. But who the hell were they to stop her? Especially when she began to take them in her mouth. Teddy groaned as Gestalt tried to stabilize their other bodies. She was moving slow, taking them in little by little, sucking and licking, her hand on the bottom of their shaft, moving up and down. Shit shit… did she know how good her mouth and tongue felt right then? That the more of them she took inside her mouth the more they wanted to grab her and just fuck her over the back of the sofa? Or maybe up against the wall… 

“Myfanwy I just,” WHY WERE THEY STILL TALKING?!?!!? But they felt a strange crash of guilt, they didn’t want her to think they were using her. They licked their lips and were about to start again when suddenly the sucking and licking stopped causing them to silently curse. Myfanwy was standing and glaring at them (but her hand remained where it was). She kissed them lightly on the mouth. 

“Gestalt,” she pumped her hand up and down.

_ Oh good god. _

“Yes?” Gestalt was very proud they managed to keep their voice even. Well, evenish.

“Please stop talking,”

They nodded mutely, their eyes closing, head thunking on the wall as Myfanwy knelt back down.

“I told you once,” she nearly purred, “you really are totally lickable,” and then proceeded to run her tongue from the base of Teddys shaft up to the tip before taking him back in her mouth. She really did enjoy this. Making them climax like this, seeing her carefully controlled Gestalt come undone. She glanced up through her eyelashes to see Teddys head thrown back, mouth slightly agape, groaning. 

They let her go on till they were at the very brink. They were so close. But this isn’t how they wanted to finish. Not today.

“Fu… Fuck. Myf... ” Teddy had put their hands on her shoulders. 

Myf placed one hand on theirs and squeezed. She had every intention of finishing this, finally relaxing enough to deep throat them. She was pretty sure she heard Gestalt mutter a prayer. She had felt their body tighten as she sucked and then…

“Myf… Myf please, wait,” Myfanwy stopped what she was doing, opening her eyes and pulling back. 

“I thought you needed…” her voice trailed off.

Teddy lifted her roughly to her feet. “Not like that,” They said horsely. And then they were kissing her again, frenzied and insistent. 

The pair moved fast, both breathing hard. Myfanwy wasn’t sure when or exactly how they managed to do it, but suddenly Gestalt had turned her to face the wall, their body pressing into her, lips roughly nipping at her neck, making her shiver. She felt the warm presence of them disappear for moment, heard the sound of rummaging and foil ripping. She was still wearing her silk tank top but her skirt was hiked up. Gestalt was back again kissing the back of her neck, their left arm wrapped around her under her shirt, their right hand slipping between her legs, pushing her underwear aside and stroking her. She automatically spread her legs further apart to give them better access, letting out groan as Gestalt simultaneously parted her and bit down on the space between her neck and shoulder.

“I don't think… I don't know how gentle I can be right now Myf,” Teddy said through gritted teeth into her neck stroking in and out, while expertly rotating their thumb over her clit. They needed her ready. They needed her permission for this. They were holding back. They wanted to do nothing more than to take her. Again and again. All of their other bodies were stock still, eyes staring at nothing, right hands clenched trying not to mimic the movements of Teddy’s. 

Myfanwy looked back over her shoulder at them and nodded. “I want this,” she said and met their eyes. 

No more words, just a hard kiss and they turned her to face them again, lifting her in their arms, so her legs wrapped around them as they pressed her between them and the wall. Myfanwy had a moment to flash back to that first time she kissed them in the workout room. 

Her moans were lost in Gestalt’s kisses as they finally began to enter her. Her arms slid over their shoulders as she moved to pull herself closer to them. She tangled her hands in their hair and broke the kiss, gasping as Gestalt shifted their hips, again, slowly working themselves in, filling her. Finally, fully sheathed inside her, they stilled, trembling, still holding back. In response Myfanwy turned her head and nipped on their ear. She was rewarded with a growl and Gestalt began to move in earnest. 

Gestalt was seeing stars, they had tried to hold back but Myfanwy kept pulling Teddy’s hair, nipping at his ear, and making all those sweet little noises. The lights were flickering on the desk. All the tension, her impromptu blowjob, the adrenaline build from the day, the need, it all came out and they finally let go. Fucking her against the wall was everything they had dreamed it would be. They were gasping into her neck, shifting their hips so they could just hit the perfect spot inside her, causing her to call out their name. Gestalt barely had enough sense left to make sure Alex wouldn’t also cry out Myfanwy’s name when she finally climaxed around them.

They came hard, just moments after, her name on their lips, Teddy’s face buried in her neck gasping, arms wrapped around her, holding on for dear life. 

They stood there frozen in time. Shuddering, and holding her. She was whimpering, coming back to herself, kissing their jaw, Gestalt twitched Teddy’s hips once, making Myf give a low groan.

Gestalt lifted their face, eyes not fully focused, and slowly pulled out, prompting a soft protesting noise from Myfanwy. They placed her back on her unsteady feet, Myfanwy leaned back against the wall taking deep breaths, eyes closed. Both parties took a moment to adjust their clothes, etc. Then Gestalt grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the sofa. Groaning Myfanwy went with them ending up mostly on top of Teddy on the much-too- small-for-both-of-them futon.

“Maybe it’s time to finally ask to get a bed in here” Gestalt muttered into her hair.

“Mmhmm. I’ll get right on that requisition,” Myfanwy muttered from her mostly comfortable place on top of them. 

“Myfanwy?”

“Shhh just 10 minutes,” Myfanwy muttered nuzzling their chest, “set an alarm… no one will notice.”

Gestalt was quiet for a moment stroking her back. 

“Thank you,” They whispered.

Myfanwy looked up at them. 

“You needed me,” she said simply, like it was the most rational thing in the word. She put her hand under her chin and bit her lip “You OK now? You didn’t hurt yourself with all that… releasing?”

Gestalt wanted to say they always needed her. But they just nodded. “I’m fine. All of me is good.” 

Myfanwy smiled a bit shyly for someone who had just gotten freaky with someone in their office. She lay her head back down,not looking at them. Something occurred to her as she lay there. 

“By the way,” she didn’t look at them, “since when do you have condoms in the office and just… on hand everywhere?”

Gestalt turned red. Their three other bodies suddenly sat up much straighter from their previously languished positions. 

“I…” Should they be honest? Oh fuck it. “Since that first time at the gym when we didn’t have any and well…” They trailed off. Any lie would have sounded so much worse than the truth. That they were hopelessly hopeful. 

Myfanwy grinned. “Ah. Now I don’t feel so awkward about the ones I started carrying in my bag after that day either,” Gestalt barely stifled a laugh from Alex, and didn’t even try from their other three bodies. “Just… 10… minutes…no more surprises. Just… 10 minute nap and we can sneak out of here.”

“Right” Gestalt said softly, relaxing again, all of their bodies feeling the tension fully dissipate. 

Rook Gestalt was fairly used to the unexpected, it came with the job. However, it seemed whatever it was they had Rook Thomas was going to keep them on their toes .But this was the type of unexpected they were totally fine with. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Knox once again for being the best editor/beta etc.

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired in part by book Myfanwy who had almost a year to prepare and several warnings about her impending memory loss. I thought I’d give Myf more time and started rewriting, well, just about everything leading up to the pilot. Buckle up buttercups, this is going to be a long ride. Load of attempts at humor, nods to the books, an OC (I am drunk with power! blame the Rookery Discord) oh and kissing + smut eventually. Rated explicit due to language and situations. Also loads of angst and ridiculous situations. Cause it’s what I do.
> 
> Love to the Rookery Discord for all their support aka relentless enthusiasm for the fandom and making bad writers feel like they can write.


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